Okay, so what are your thoughts? Lets talk about it. Lets chit chat.
Ya know, most women that I hear make the comment, “All men cheat.” Oh! And you know the infamous saying, “N**** ain’t shiii,” are the main ones wanting a relationship and looking for a husband. And I’m so confused like. Huh?
So, if you feel like all mean cheat then why would you even want to commit or waste your time on a search to find a man for that matter? So, you’re telling me you’re looking for a cheating husbands? And I’m guessing you want your boyfriend to be full of, you know what? Like, I’m not even trying to be funny. I really don’t understand.
Me and my homegirl were just talking about this on the phone a few days ago. (Haay Chile!) She’s single and she sometimes entertains me with the flaws of dating. Ugh, Chile. I don’t even want to remember. It was thee worse. (Not the but thee worse.) I mean, depending on what state of mind you’re in it can be fun, I guess. But when you’re at a point in your life when you’re ova and done with the bull crap, you what the real deal Holyfield. (Not Holyfield literally, I’m just saying. Ha.) You ain’t tryna be dealing with the calling him and he ain’t answering but he’s texting right back. You are so ova the same songs for a different man. I mean, it’s a real hit too. Ya know when dude is tryna have his cake and eat it too. (You know that old saying Chile.) Ugh, cowards. You know the song. I ain’t ready now but I really like you (Or love you.) But I just got a lot going on right now. My grandma sick. My house caught on fire last night. My tornado got my momma house yesterday. I work a lot. I got off late. Oh, that’s my cousin. Oh, she was crazy. (Talking about his ex. Watch those that talk cash crap about their exes. A sorry man will bash another female to make another female feel secure whole time he in love with the female he bashin!!! SAY I’M LYIG!!) My car broke down. My homeboys car broke down. I fell asleep. I ain’t wake up. I ain’t get it. (Text or call.) I just this. And I’m just that. It’s not you. It’s me. Blah. Blah. Blah, Blah. And all that bull. The ones who never reply to your text but they stay on social media writing a status. The one that didn’t know you Friday through Sunday. But hits you up on a random Tuesday trying to come ova like nothing happened a few days ago. The guy that can’t stand his baby momma but is sleeping with her. (In both aspects.) The butt hole that is for everybody. He wants you to be committed but doesn’t want to commit. (Chile, he really don’t want you, he just don’t want nobody else to have ya.) And then you have the liar that always was talking loud and saying nothing. Ain’t nobody got time to be playing games. Eitha it is or it ain’t. Pick a side. Pick a side! Do you want to be single and do you. Or you trying to be in a relationship and only do me?
I remember it was a time when I was like forget love I’m tied of trying. Not that I stopped believing in love and really obtaining it. I was just like ya’ll men folk got issues and the main ones that are full on trifling have daughters. (I really didn’t date men with kids. I didn’t have any, so. Blog post for later.) I never once thought that love wasn’t a real thang and that there aren’t any real men out there that will give it to me. I never once thought all men are the same. And I didn’t think I was eva asking too much. I knew I was asking the wrong people.
Now, those that know me personally know that my love story is for the books. We’ll, I definitely think so. Whew Chile. (That’s one for the blogs too. Mmm…idk maybe.) Every love story is beautiful. But ours is my favorite.
Chile I remember I was like, twenty maybe twenty-one when my husband and I broke up for like the fifth time. (We weren’t married then.) And I met this guy right. And so I just thought that he was right on time Honey. (I dated always trying to fill a void with the man I truly wanted to be with.) At the time I was sad and so heartbroken. And of course lonely. I wasn’t stupid though. Chile, I dropped him like a hot potato five months in. However, I was a slight dumb dumb because my tail thought he was a blessing Chile! Yeah right! He was a blessing alright. Someone else’s. Because he was a journey. Forget a trip. He was all nice and normal in the beginning. Mind you I said, normal. Chile, all that niceness. We’ll, it ain’t last long. And not to mention his living situation was weird. As the few months passed this man changed drastically. Oooweee. I was like, “Oh, hell no!” (At the time I know I said something more nasty.) That certain day when I thought I was gonna have to call 9-1-1 on his tail, I knew I was fitna dip right on out on his behind. I knew the last time I saw him was fitna be the last time. He was one of them, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde types. He always wanted to know where I was going, what I had on, and who I was going with. I don’t play that. My momma always told me, “Chile, don’t fool with a jealous man or a cheap man.” He was so jealous it was scary. I ain’t fitna be with nobody I’m scared of. Forget that.
I also had a man drive me down on the highway. Yes! The highway Chile. Yeah, I was yelling my number out the window driving down the dog on highway. (Ok. So right now I’m laughing. But, what! I cannot believe I did that.) Girl. He was hitting me up like I was late on a bill. He called me so much I never got a chance to call him. I was trippy just off that. Like, dude. I work. I’m in school. I have friends. So, when we finally got to actually talk (I remember I was at work that night. It was late. The ER was almost empty.)
So, we was chatting or what not. And I began to ask him the first questions you should always ask. And one of those questions was, “So are you in a relationship or married?” THIS FOOL SAID YES SO EASILY AND NONCHALANTLY I GOT SCARED AND HUNG THE PHONE UP!! I was appalled. Like, he answered me like it was nothing. “Oh hell to the naw naw.” Whew Chile. God bless America. He never called me back and I ain’t call him eitha. Thank God. It was ova before it started. That’s what I get though. What did I expect from a man trying to get at me while driving down the road. Mmcht.
But still, I never gave up on love or never once stopped believing in it. I already knew from day one who I wanted to wife me up and who I wanted to call my husband. But if God didn’t see fit for us to be together as much as I love this man (My now husband.) I knew He would surely give me someone who knocked me off my feet. Either way it was a win. I just needed to attract what I deserved.
To me, saying all men cheat is like saying woman don’t. Ooowee. And we know that’s a lie.
But my thang is this. If I felt like all men cheated I wouldn’t get married. I mean, I wouldn’t want to be. I basically would be making a vow to some bull crap. Selling myself short and settling for less. I would be accepting someone just cheating on me and treating me like crap. I mean, that’s what that means when you say, all men cheat, and n***** ain’t shiii. That’s dumb stupid to me. I ain’t fitna be like, all men cheat and they ain’t ish, but, “I DO!” Now, whatever happens in your marriage and/or relationship you handle thangs accordingly as you see fit when thangs go south. But walking into a messed up situation is a whole otha thang. If thangs are already red flag central, going left, and all out of wack before you say I DO or commit, then you ay have to take some accountability. (For the record it is more ways than one to hurt somebody besides cheating.) But to walk into it with that kind of mindset is a flaw in itself. AND PLEASE! I’M GONE JUST GO RIGHT ON AHEAD AND SAY THIS. Stop! Stop selling yourself short tryna get a man to want you. Ya know, wife you up. I ain’t never heard a man say he married someone because she had good tail or licked a good ball.
I’m Just Saying…
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