Cater To You 101

Self- Care 1 – 20

…. Let me cater to you!
This is just a Self- Care 1 through 20 on what we need to do for ourselves sometimes, shoot, a lot of times!! I find myself being so gracious, comforting, and loyal to other people, that I have none left for myself, soooo…..

1. Take the time to identify the activities and actions that make you feel good. Ya know, happy.
Now! I’m not talking about what makes you money, but what makes you happy. Seems like these day a lot of people don’t put much thought into what gives them peace, but instead what makes them a pretty penny. Cause we all know that pretty pennies don’t always bring pretty mindsets. Mmm…k! So, take some time out to see what gives you something to look forward to. Crafts, writing, reading, working out, cooking, doing cross word puzzles, or playing Monopoly. (Haha.) Do something that will make you proud afterwards seeing and knowing how much work you’ve put into it. It doesn’t have to be anything massive. It can be whatever means something to you! Ya know, something that means making you happy!

2. Find somewhere quiet to pray, meditate, ya know, to just get ya mind, and ya spirit together as much as possible honey chile.
Okay, so, what I tend to do these days, being a mom and all. Because you never know when it’s going to be a time when I’m like, “Thank you Jesus, Muum, Mum, Mum!!!!” Right smack dead in the middle of a prayer. Now, of course God knows, but if I can make time for quiet time for other things, then I can make quiet time for Jesus. Holler if ya hear me! So yeah, find you a quiet place just to reflect, and release. A lot of times I do this in the morning while Naomi is still sleep, and husbae is at work. For real though, some of the best times for me to do this is in the shower. (Depending if I lock the door or not.) I can hide out there for a while. It’s starting to seem like now more than ever that the shower is not always a get- away these days. Naomi seems to find me, Rob has to come collect her, and then it goes from there. So just do the best you can do without excuses. Because we all know you can make a way out of no way if you really want too.

3. Reread one of your favorite books.
I should actually do that! I know exactly which book I would read too. Momma Ruby, by Mary Monroe. I love, love, love that series. I’m positive that I will laugh I the same funny comments. Heck, I may even see something I missed the first time reading it. I mean, think about, reading a book over again is like watching the same TV show or movie. All my book lovers will understand what I’m saying. #BookWorm

4. Avoid triggers.
Lord, God! Won’t He do it! If you resist the devil he shall flee! Huh man. Talking about shaking the devil off chile. So, listen! Do what you gots (No typo!) to do honey chi. If that means not answering certain phone calls, ignoring certain folk for the day, or week. Until you know you’re in a certain place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. DO YOU! FOR YOU! Sometimes fortunately and unfortunately you have to really do what is best for you. Let me repeat, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU!!! And that can mean whatever to anyone, at the end of the day as long as you and you know what that means, so be it! Shoot! Folks will drive you crazy. Folks will be the demise of your spirit if you allow them to be. Don’t do it! That means not entertaining certain folk, despite who they may be to you. Sometimes we get so caught up in who people are to us, that we over look at what they have been to us. Ya feel me? All I can tell you is to do what you gots to do, for you!

5. Watch you some movies or shows that are relaxing and comforting!
First thing first! Junk food is a must! Okay! I’m Just Saying. I’m not really big on junky snacks. Like I don’t want chips and candy. I prefer food! Like junk that I don’t eat on a regular basis. My husband is big on junky snacks. He will get him some chips and dip, cookies, and ice cream. I done seen him do all of that, and then go fix a bowl of cereal. Me, personally, I want some fried chicken, bake potato, the rudest most, unhealthiest salad, and then I’ll top it off with some ice cream! You have to have plenty of throw blankets too. The setting must be comfy, cozy. Mmm…k! I used to be a huge fan of scary movies. But it seems like everything is demonic, so, oh no, I don’t do that. I ain’t entertaining that fool. Life is already full enough sin. So, if it’s a “scary” movie, it’s Halloween, the old ones with Jamie Lee Curtis, they scare the heck out of me. Something about that Michael Myers. But other than that, it’s comedy movies, or drama. And when the kiddo is invited to the slumber party, of course it’s something that is appropriate for her pretty eyes. Which still usually makes me cry, still. Do they not make kiddie movies so profound and deep these days or what?

6. Take time for yourself, away from others.
Okay, so, this may go hand in hand with self-care number 2, but in a few ways, it can be a tad bit different. Now, remember when I told you that I hide away in the shower to do my thang. Well, when I really need some me time, just to really get myself together, I gets in the car and hit the pavement! Husbae and sweet pea can’t get me that way. (Haha.) I just cruise for about 30 minutes, sometimes I turn on my music, and sometimes I don’t. And I make a vow to myself that whatever it was that was bothering me when I left up out the house, I won’t take it back up in the house with me. You know why, because I left it on the pavement. #Zoooom!!!

7. Get you a full nights rest.
Well, um…let me see here. All I can say once again is, do the best that you can chile! I mean, I sleep like a baby now, but it hasn’t always been that way! So, I get it. I’ve taken melatonin pills before, not for too long though, for personal reasons, nothing bad. But honey chi, IT WORKS!! It really works. I would take it before my shower, after I took care of the chores, etc. in the house. Because let me tell ya chi, about an hour later, ya girl be droopy. My body be feeling so relaxed. I get in bed and my body feels like weights are holding it down. I couldn’t get up if I wanted to. I be feeling like I couldn’t even lift my arm if I was reaching for money. I ain’t lying! I am not lying!! I be feeling like a mummy! And before I even know it, I be knocked out. #TKO!!

8. You gots to start checking in with yourself.
Are you the kind of person who will send text messages, make phone calls, or even stop by a family or friends home, just to see how they’re doing? We’ll I am. It can be a good thing at times, and other times it can be exhausting. I will have someone on my heart and mind, and I quickly check in. I am all for keeping in contact. When I am concerned about someone’s well- being, I make it a point to get in contact in some way, form or fashion. You know why, because I love them, and I care. But, shoot, I care about me, and love me some me too! So, I had to ask myself, April, why don’t you ask yourself the same question? The same questions I ask those that I love Shoot, even the strangers I meet day in and day out. Ya know? So, you know what I started doing? I look right in the mirror and I say, “April, how are you today? How are you feeling today? Are you okay? What’s on your mind?” I sure do!! I find myself sometimes being available for others, more than I am available for myself. And the times when I need me most, I am too exhausted with caring about everyone else’s lost, dysfunctions etc. to even pull myself out of my own funk. Now, I’m still trying to get better at it. I am not speaking from perfection by no means. Because right now, I’ve been only remembering to do it like twice a week. Work in progress. I want to be more active in the concern I have in others for myself. Oh yeah! Who ever said talking to yourself made you crazy, is a lie!! I ain’t claiming it! Mmm…k!

9. Put you on some comfortable clothing now darling!
Now! I don’t know about you, but I love me an over- sized t-shirt, sweat pants, and my husband drawers thee best! Yes, you did just read that correctly. So, yeah. As much as I love to beat my face and put on something cute and what not, ain’t nothing like a comfy cozy fit chi. I’m honestly into this big shirt, big jacket, big sweater off the shoulder look now, all of a sudden! Makes me look smaller when I’m extra bloated too. #TheTrick. Comfy and cute, ya can’t beat that! I’m Just Saying!

10. Light a candle and fill your home with your favorite scents.
Now, I’m just going to leave this right here. For those who know me, know!! And if you’re new to this blog and to me, go check out my blog post “I’m So Easy to Buy For. Just Get Me a Candle.” I mean, it’s all there in the title.

11. Take a nice ole hot bath.
It’s a need be, just err now and then, ya know. Get that water nice and hot, (Don’t go too crazy now listening to me.) and some bubble bath. Now, don’t go getting any ole cheap, smell good stuff. You don’t want to get you no VI now. (Infection in the vagina.) So, don’t be trying to be all cute and what not, relaxing and sitting your tail in some any ole kind of smell good mess. Get you some Dr. Teals body wash, that’s my favorite personally, and soak until your akin looks like you’re 99 years old. Okay? Okay. I gets me about two candles, yeah two, that’s about right. And then I either listen to music, or read a few chapters of a book. Talk about tranquility.

12. Visit your favorite spot in the city, or hey, even the country.
Ummm…right now, honestly my favorite place to be is back home. Ya, know being a military wife and all, always gone, I enjoy going home on leave. I see my family, and my friends. I love it. I love them. And honey, let’s not mention that I always have babysitters on deck! #SayWhat #Who Can we say Nana and Papa!! So, yeah. It’s good to be able to go somewhere where you can let ya hair down and feel free.

13. Stop feeling bad for turning down invitations or canceling plans with folk.
I am guilty for this. I am. As much as I am assertive, I don’t like telling people no for real, for real. Like, I’m just a person that likes to come through for people, ya know. But look, sometimes ya girl just don’t be feeling like it. Period. I mean, there is no need to even try and come up with a lie about this, or about that. Sometimes you may have to say no, not today. Ya, know? Listen, sometimes you don’t even need to explain why, that’s exhausting in itself! By the time you do all that you mine as well have did what you were expected to do. If someone loves you, and sincerely cares about who and what you’re to them, they won’t count your no’s, because they’re mindful of your yeses.

14. Hey! Take a dog on day off work if you need to. Shoot!
Now. I already know what some of ya’ll are thinking. “I can’t, I got bills.” Heck, we all do. But what good is the lights being on if ya mind is dark? I get it, but just think about it. Work is stressful, and sometimes the folks ya even work with, work for, or the folks who work for you are stressful too. I know, been there and done that! And still doing it, because I promise Naomi thinks I am her employee! It’s hard to turn off the adulting a lot of the time, heck, most of the time. However! You have to learn that if you’re not okay, ya kids won’t be good, ya man, ya woman, whomever. It’s so easy for your issues to leak off on those you love, even if you don’t notice it. Vibes are real. That’s why folks say good vibes only. Naomi knows when something isn’t right with her Mum, and precious is only two. You only are fooling yaself if you think your kids can’t see behind those pretend smiles. Free ya mind. We all need that. You see I said need, right? Even if you’re a stay at home Mommy, like myself, you can take a break too. Now, I don’t know how much of a break you can really get in ya house hold. Because for those who assume and don’t know, being a stay at home parent is work. I can run circles around my past life. And just to think I was tired then, please! But let me tell you about mines real quick. *Clears throat* Naomi gets up, I fix her something quick, like a bowl of cereal, and a banana. Then we brush those cute wittle teeth, and clean that precious wittle face, ears, and neck. And then after that, I put on a fresh pair of PJ’s (Now there is a diaper change in between all of this, until she gets on that pot. She’s getting there.) but yeah, I put on a fresh pair of PJ’s. Now, Naomi is like shirt, pants. I tell her, “You better put on these Christmas pajamas (It be all of June.) baby girl, cause we, meaning us, you and I ain’t going nowhere on this blessed and beautiful day, ya heard! And she says, “Ya heard.” And boom, just like that, that’s the start of a I’m not adulting today day. I pops her tail a hot pocket in the microwave, some pizza bagels in the oven, hit her off with a fruit salad, and we order in from outside somewhere. Don’t judge me. She goes to bed happy, healthy, and alive. Thank you, Jesus! Won’t He do it? Yes, He will!!!

15. Write down a list of things you’re thankful for.
It’s always good to have a reminder of the blessings in your life. A lot of times we spend our time complaining, praying for the things we want and need, hoping for this, and hoping for that. We sometimes tend to over-look the blessing that we have right now, at the very moment. So, when you take the time to write down all that you’re thankful for right now, you can reflect and humble yourself, and trust that you will get too what you’re striving for in the future. Things can always be worth. It’s just how you choose to look at things. Be thankful. “Dear God, I want to take a minute, not to ask for anything from you. But simply to say thank you, for all I have. Amen.”

16. Remind yourself, that this too shall pass.
Oh. My. Goodness. Man, listen. You know when you’re going through and you feel as if the world is coming to an end for you. Like you’re the only person in life that is going through, like no one understands. (God does.) We’ll think of it this way. How many times have you felt the same very way and you never thought you could make it, would make it, and look at you now. Yeah, true, you may have a problem now. But you made it through the last problem too, right? Heartbroken, broke, afraid, alone, searching, scrambling, lost, sick and shut in. This too shall pass, this too, shall pass. I will. You just must believe it will. Say it will. Could you only imagine how life would be, how people’s perspective would be if they spoke more positive things over their lives, and about their lives the way they do the negative? *Chuckles* Wow, right? Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1Peter 5:7.

17. Read inspiring quotes.
Okay, Pinterest is my jaaa-zaaam! Mmmm…K! I go up there and just scroll right on through my But God board, or my Blog Life board where there is all the uplifting, motivating quotes that give me that extra boost, ya know. Now, on the days that I have to reach waaaay down, I pull out my Bible and read scriptures. Or I go pick up T.D. Jakes book right off my shelf, (My fav) and gets to reading. I just started getting Joyce Myers book. She’s amazing too. So, look, all I’m trying to say is, if you’re in a funk, work ya way up out of that thang. Don’t sit around and have a pity party for yourself. That’s when the devil talks the loudest.

18. Spend time outside! Get up out the house chile.
Okay, so, anyone who knows me, knows! Ain’t no place like outside! As much as I am an extrovert, I can go in a hole and hide too. Blog, read write. And for maybe two days that’s cool. I sometimes work out at home and call the rest of the day quits. Ya know, the days you know you don’t plan to go anywhere. Well, after two days of that, Naomi and I take 3-6-mile walks. It’s very rare that I can spend days in the house now, being I am no longer snowed in. It’s hard for me to just sit around when it’s bright and sunny out. We walk, talk, and be merry chile. Once Naomi goes to sleep, I turn on my music, think, or listen to motivational, spiritual on YouTube. It’s good for the soul. Not to mention you gots to get ya vitamin D. Going outside is a need! Before you know it, the walls will feel like they’re closing in on ya. Even when I use to work, I would take a moment just to step outside for a few minutes. Gone out there and breath in some Jesus air and refresh ya mind!

19. Listen to your favorite song on repeat.
Haha!! I legit laughed at this one. When I tell you, I will put a song on repeat for a month or more. I am not lying! My husbae will look at me, laugh and shake his head. I will run a song in the ground. All summer I listened to Anita Baker, Body and Soul on repeat. Matter of fact, since we’re talking about it. Why don’t I…

20. Breath in and out!!
IHALE! EXHALE! Sometimes you just have to slow down, and breath. Sometimes we get so riled up, exhausted, overwhelmed etc. and we don’t even take the time to breath. We be all out of breath!! Sometimes you feel like you’re being suffocated. Just take some time and breath!

Okay, so I wanted to share a few  self- care tips, for you, and for me! I need to take the time out and do some of these things more often. Shoot. Some of these things I need to do every day, multiple times a day. Never feel bad for catering to you! Always, always remember that self-care is not optional, it’s essential!!

I’m Just Saying….