FORGET YOU AND YOUR MOMMA TOO!

I said, the heck with Facebook and its Momma too!!! *drops mic and walks off stage.*

Okay, so you know how people had My Space and, and, I don’t know. Like, I don’t even know what else was out back then. What else was out then, like as far as social media or whatever? We’ll regardless of what was out then, I wasn’t aware of it. I didn’t have it. I didn’t even know anything about it to have it. Like, I was so out of the loop. My husband just asked me did I have Black Planet. (Ha-ha. Seriously Bae?) I’m like, Black who? (Hold up, hold wait. We weak! I was legit just screaming laughing!) Yo, I never heard of no Black Planet! Myspace, yeah, I heard of Myspace. I think my brother probably had it? Uggh! I don’t know. The face Rob just made though! I mean, real talk, I just didn’t care about those things. I was sooo oblivious to it.

Looking back on those days. I realize that I just really didn’t  care about those things. All I cared about was my music. Learning it, loving it, playing it. My whole life was wrapped up in band. And I loved it. Those were the ole good days. Minus high school in itself though! I could of did without the extra stuff. So yeah, music and whoever I was crushing on at the time. (Chuckles.)

Happen so…

I ended up getting Facebook in 2010-2011, (Somewhere in that time frame.) because I was doing just that, crushing! All jokes aside like for real though, I was more like in love.
It was my husband’s first deployment, and Facebook was one of the ways that we could communicate with each other. Ya know, when he couldn’t call me. I remember when he left to go overseas. I would communicate with him through other people’s Facebook. I remember I use to post statuses on my sister n laws Facebook like it was mines!! (Ha-ha. Wow! I used to be so simple. #smh) I remember thinking that Facebook was so tedious. I really didn’t get the point, at all. I’m telling you, it was like a whole new world too me. Eventually I started to like it. It was cool. But sooner than later I would find out all the downs falls of these social media demons.

When I tell you I still have Facebook PTSD till this very day! I do! Like, I promise you! Even now I have no desire to have Facebook. Ya’ll gone have to catch me up on Instagram, Snapchat, or Pinterest!

I remember when my husband posted a status about me and how much he was missing me when he first left. Oh yeah, I forgot. For those who don’t know. He wasn’t my husband at the time. Little did I know though. That that was only the start of the journey that lied ahead of us.

Chile. Chile. CHILE!

“I’m on an emotional coaster. Loving you ain’t nothing healthy. Loving you was never good for me. Oh. But I can’t get off. Yesterday , I told myself I was going to be okay. Going start a new day…” -Vivan Green

(I had to throw that in there real quick. I’m sorry. I had a Jesus moment. Those days were some kind of rough Chile. I ain’t lying.)

So yeah, I felt so special. I mean, you would have thought the man had made a speech about me at the BET AWARDS or something. To say the least, I felt special. I remember it really made me smile.

Anyways.

As time moved on I started to post basic statuses and sending a receiving friend request. I saw people I hadn’t seen or talked to in years. Which was cool. I had a few rattle dattle knuckle heads and some cuties in my Messenger, but all I cared about was my husband. (When I say all I cared about was my husband, I mean, ALL I CARED ABOUT WAS MY HUSBAND! For those who know, know this.  (Ya’ll remember when Rob first left?) Nothing else mattered except for him.

When I tell you I only clicked on Facebook to see what he had going on his page. I would check to see if he had sent a message, or replied to one. I still never really knew what people had going on outside of that. And plus, social media is a lot more now than it was back then too. That was about what, 6-7 years ago?! But yeah, everything was centered around him!

And then one day his relationship status went from, ‘In a Relationship, to It’s Complicated’!! I was so devastated. Sooo devastated. I mean, I know we were going through some bad times, but dang. I felt so humiliated when he announced it to the world. It’s was like the  Facebook announcement made our problems official. And please believe me, I hated it! Like, we were beefing so hard. And Facebook was our only means of communication (sometimes.) Lines got crossed, statements were miscommunicated. Ugh! It was the worse.

Until…

He (My husband.) went from ‘It’s Complicated’ to ‘Single.’ Man! Now why he have to go and do that? Out of all the mess we had been through. The back and forth. The ups and downs. I mean, I knew things between us were rough. But Facebook made it a real reality for me. I knew it was happening, but. Facebook made it final. Facebook made it unfair. I remember being at work, at Pino’s Pizza. And I was so sick about it. I remember my Boss sending me home. You talking about heart broken. I was hurt! I was a mess down bust down, so disgusted I could not be trusted HURT! Like, I didn’t get life at that time. Everything that I knew had changed. A heartbreak is no joke. No joke!

I believe that a heartbreak is worse than a toothache. No! I am so serious! Think about it! If you have a toothache, you can seek you some help. What do you do when your heart hurts? What you gone tell the doctor? All I know is if a doctor asked me, “What is the level of your pain rating from 1 to10?” I’m going to tell him, OFF THE CHARTS. OFF THE CHARTS SIR DOCTOR!!

Everything hurt!

And then…

One of his lame tail friends. Still lame till this very day friend. (Oh, God forgive me! Skkrt!) Posted on his page, “Oh that’s what’s up bro. What’s good my (ba-bleep.”) I was like, “Oh really?” The same one that introduced me to one of his many girlfriends and was all up in my face like, “Aww, ya’ll look so cute together.”

Negro please!

I was sooo mad. No! Forget that! I was livid!! Then of course I checked all the likes and comments constantly. Trying to get some insight of what was really going on. And I used to be like, “Wow. Really?” My feelings, oh they were so, so hurt. Even though I knew I needed to not go on his page. I always did. And sometimes, I would regret I even did by the time I would log off. I eventually took the Facebook app off my phone. I would only get on Facebook when I was on my laptop at home. We were rarely talking at that point. I would send my husband messages on Facebook, and I would get on Facebook later. When I would get out of class, or off of work. And I would go check and see if he had sent me something back. But umm, yeah. There would be nothing. Absolutely nothing! BUT THERE WAS ALWAYS A STATUS THAT WAS WRITTEN ABOUT SOME NONSENSE THAT I WOULD ALWAYS TRY TO READ IN BETWEEN THE LINES ABOUT!

“Oh really huh?” You can post a status, but you can’t reply to me? Those were always my thoughts. But every time he came home on leave, we always ended up together. That’s a whole other story though Chile!

I would see pictures of him out and about. Having fun. And other people, my so- called friends at the time would take pictures of it, screen shot it to me and I would see it regardless. Some way, somehow. Chile. I used to be so mad. So sad. So, everything the opposite of happily in love. (Rob and me are sitting here laughing about this right now. I’m telling him what I’m writing about. I love him.<3) I would read the comments and Chile! I just could not. Not I couldn’t, but I COULD NOT take it anymore. I was like, forget this. And one day, I just hit the deactivation button, and it’s been a wrap since.

Social media is huge now. People use some social sites more than others. I know I didn’t have a clue at all when it came to Tinder or Plenty Of Fish until my home girl told me about it. Ha-ha. I’m serious. But Facebook has been around for a minute. And it’s just normal I guess you can say, just to assume that someone has it. My Grandmother has Facebook. She has a Christmas tree as her profile picture. Ha-ha. She’s so cute. (Hey Grandmother!) So, when some people ask me do I have Facebook. Or this one right here. “I was looking for you on Facebook and I couldn’t find you.” I be like, ‘I don’t have it’. A few military wives have told me to go on Facebook to this page or that page to see what events and workouts classes they have posted on the pages.

I go on my husbands Facebook and look, or my sista will for me from her Facebook page.. (Thanks girl.)

To heck with Facebook. Ha-ha. It’s funny now.

#WhenWeWereYoung.

But back then, it was the devils playground. I got rid of it. I had too. And for a few years I didn’t have no type of social media. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. None. And then I remember my best friend and me were riding down 95, going back home. (You remember that girl?) And she set up my Instagram page. She set up my user name a_danni22 (I’ll tell you about Danni in a minute too.) But yeah, she set up my user name and password. And even then, I didn’t post like that. I don’t even think I followed a lot of people. I just wasn’t concerned about social media. It just never my thing. I randomly posted anything. I didn’t know what was going on in the celebrity world. I was still out of the loop. I started really getting into social media way more once I started blogging I feel like.

Oh yeah, oh yeah!

I almost for to tell you. So, my middle name is Danielle. And my Daddy calls me Danni. I even have it tattooed at the very top of my back. NO ONE else can call me that but him. Mm…k?

Mm…k

True story. This dude I use to date. Ugh. He would call me Danni. And it was a turn off. I used to tell him, please do not call me that. (Irritated.) He wouldn’t stop. He learned his lesson when he couldn’t call me no mo!
So yeah. That’s what my Daddy calls me, Danni.

I feel like you can catch the truth and the lies about people on social media.

I’m Just Saying…

 

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