Just A lot of Feelings.

You know, it’s crazy when I look at, “back then.” We were two sheets in the wind sober. Like, you were my best friend. Of course you still are now too. But thats how it started. Just friends. Nothing more. But I never gave you the less of me. The telephone was the best part. Ha, we had the house numbers. I would talk to you until the phone went dead. We would rotate. Nothing ever was forced. You were my diary. It’s was like I wrote in it everyday. I mean, I did. 

I met you in a dim, dark room. Remember? You were singing. Who would have ever thought that “hey” would turn into “I love you too.” We conversed about growing old with other people. Now, I pray to grow old as crap with you. Healthy and old. We’ve come so far my dear. God is so amazing. 

We were always outside! No matter what the weather was. What was that about? Maybe we both felt free there. Outside. Just you and me. Away from eveybody.

Remember I use to stay over? We really were innocent. I was like your right hand man.  I always woke you up in the morning, always. I would blow you phone up. You’d be so mad. Now look at us. In the morning we lay in bed with Naomi and we just have family time. We have fun! And Naomi, she loves it! We have a kid. Agh, man! I love you! 

Even before the in love, I always felt safe with you, you were always there for me when I needed you most. You always came through. Always. Even when it was bad. You always came through. Why is that? 

Country boy. You’re different. It’s like you care what people think, but most days you really don’t. You always seemed free to me. You always had so much life. Even when life was thick. You always remained, cool. You pushed. You were determined. And you did that. I’m proud of you. You’re a man! 

Ha! Rememebr, we’d just talked for hours, literally. Sometimes you set and I would stand. You legit made things better. You were like that get away in the tree house. My hide out. Remember?

Whatever! I know what you’re thinking. Ha! That’s funny!

Oh my gosh! You remember the DVD player? That thing would play a movie for us on repeat for weeks. We’d randomly switched it out. I remember when you left for overseas, I would go in your room and lay across your bed. Everything smelled like you. I would pray that just that one time you’d be there when I opened my eyes.

For about 7 months you were there! Everyday. We made a way some how. And then all that just went away. Just like that. The long distance was killing me. 

You use to whoop my tail in monopoly. I’m still convinced you cheated. Every time too. I knew I loved you then, but dang, now. We would kiss around corners and before entering rooms. You would walk me to my door, every time you dropped me off. Remember?  I’d watch you walk down the steps. I would close the door and run to the window and watch you back out the drive way. Then I would call you and we would talk way pass you being home. You would always answer on like the second ring. You’d sit in you car for about an hour before going in the house. I bet you counted the stars while listening to me talk. I felt like I was in middle school again. You know the cute love stories. “You hang up, no you hang up.” You did that! You do that! Remember that night I ran and jumped in your arms. Friend!!!! I still feel that feeling now. I’m always happy to see you. The road trips. The flat tire!!!! Oh my gosh!!! The flat tire! Wasn’t that like, the coldest night that winter? It was dark out there and quiet. But I wasn’t scared. I knew you fight the air for me. That was another story to put down in the books. We have to tell our babies that one. You make me so happy. I love you so much. “If this world was mine…”

I played things so cool back then. But I always felt it. It wasn’t any denying you were different. You’d always bent over backwards. Whatever I needed. Whatever I wanted. You’d make a way.

You know what’s so important to me, then and now. You never judged me. Wow. You made me your wife. You always made me feel like gold. Even when I was too clouded to realize it.

I sent you out in the freezing snow. Good morning. You were so mad. We just laughed about it later. We kept no secrets. That’s why when it was bad, it was bad. It’s like a sin keeping something from you. Two peas in a pod. Always. I was your exception and you were mines. Nothing’s changed. Regardless the time, the day, the weather, or the circumstances. We always met each other half way. Not always the right way. But we were there.

On the worse days, I just always believed it’d get better. Seriously though, look how much we’ve grown. Isn’t it crazy how a person. A single person can have so much affect on you. You do that to me.

I use to call you for unimportant reasons. Before long, I couldn’t go one day without calling you. And without you calling me. I just always went to “recent calls.” Your name was always there.

I’m going to love you until I literally, physically can not anymore. I want to live with you forever. Like our vows said, to death do us part. You were sweating by the way. Mom and Dad were there! Columbus, Ohio. Who would have ever thought. Cleveland, Ohio. Who would have ever knew. Then you bent down and kissed me. We sealed the deal right then. Everything before then went away. Clean slate. I am yours and you are mines. When you look over your shoulder I will be there. When you look down beside you, I’m there. We’re in sync. Finish my sentences. Read my thoughts. Let’s ride this thing baby. This is only the beginning….

I love you baby, always.


Red Lipstick