MAKE ME PROUD

What are you most proud of?

There is no order to this at all. God knows, there is a lot of things that I am proud of, very proud of actually. But right now, I want to say that, I am proud of my husband and me. Everything between us went from, 0-100! No, seriously. Like, I feel like our whole experience with each other just happened fast. We had some yellow light moments, but…

Falling in love, moving, long distance, military, school, me moving, getting preggo, married, etc. Chile, and a whole of in betweens. It just keeps going from there. I’m loving every moment of it though. We’ll, not every moment if you want to be literal. Just know I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s quite the experience.
When I left Virginia. I had all these things planned and mapped out. I wanted to do this. and I was going to do that. Chile!  I got to Cleveland, December 12, 2014. I found out I was pregnant, by January 5, 2015. I found out a day after Robs birthday. Chile, I reckon we missed each other. Rob had already moved to Ohio, he had to start work. Me on the other hand, we’ll I had to finish my semester at school first. So, yeah. I hadn’t seen him in two months. Two months to long I reckon.
We got married. Which was a surprise how it all happened. (I’ll blog about it one day.) I was so happy.
Rob having a demanding job at the time, Recruiting Duty. Ugh. It was all new and it was all crazy! And crazy is putting it nice.
But we made it work.
My teammate.
*Team work makes the dream work. *
We had no family. No friends (At one point.)
All we had was each other. And with stressful, long work days, it sometimes got lonely.
Becoming newlyweds, and having a new born all at once, made our world spin. And I couldn’t be more proud of my husband and the father of my kid.

Talking about getting to know each other Chile. In the rough times, you have to remember why you fell in love with this person in the first place. The older I get, I realize you shouldn’t allow anger to make decisions for you. Life is too short.
Listen, I am no perfectionist when it comes to these things. Heck, none of us are. Even the therapist herself has her own problems. But the key to it all, is dealing with it and how you deal with it.
Some days, I don’t know how we made it! I mean, at the bigger scheme of things I know how. But, that is why I say, I am so proud of us. Sometimes it was all a blur.
Chile, we were young and tired. And rolling with the punches.
Heck, we still are.
These terrible twos got us looking at each other side eyed.
I keep God first! Believing what God joined together, let no man separate. Mark 10:9
It’s hard out here. Being young and married. Heck, young, black, and married. The scrutiny of marriage. The words that are constantly spoken about our black me, ‘NIGGAS AIN’T SHIT.’ (Please excuse my language. But let’s address it how it is addressed.)
I get it! If Rob would do to me the way I’ve seen some people that I know and know of get treated, I couldn’t make you any promises. I know I’d be angry too. Straight up! Let me just be honest. Shoot! Ain’t no telling what would come out of my mouth either. So, please believe me when I say, I ain’t judging! Just because I don’t do it now, doesn’t mean I’ve never done it. But some females, MAKE THEIR OWN BED, AND DON’T WANT TO LIE IN IT, THEN BLAME THE MAN. (Accountability.)
I think it’s sad, how Father’s Day is not as big as Mother’s Day. Yes, do we hear about all the dead beats who don’t do anything? I do, and I think they’re pathetic too. But what about ALL the dads in the world that get watered down?? Then we turn around and want the black man to act a certain type of way, after we break them all the way down.
I ain’t fitting to get all into that now though, because that’s not what I came here for.

So, yeah. That is one of the things that I am proud of, us.

After I had Naomi ya’ll. I was all over the place. It’s like nothing came second nature to me. My husband on the other hand, had it down pack! I couldn’t even change Naomi. Rob did all of that. I would be pumping milk, and doze off. I’d wake up, and milk would be everywhere. I felt like dairy queen.
Rob had it all down packed. I was so frustrated, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t, just get it. He, on the other hand gots the magic touch. I was so overwhelmed and stressed. Breast feeding WHOOPED my tail! I was too through. Chile, I tell ya.
When my parents came to see me, right after I had Naomi, I was so happy. My mom cooked enough food for the marine corps. She froze some of it too. Rob ate for weeks! She washed clothes, cleaned up. She did it all!! My dad, we’ll ya know Papa.
Chile, when they left. I was lost in the sauce.
How many of ya’ll ladies, done cried with ya’ll baby?
I was a mess down, bust down.
Rob would come home, dead dog tired, and I’d be in Naomi’s room, crying and rocking her. He’d come in, wash his hands, take Naomi, and BOOM! You could hear a mouse Chile! Looking back, I’m like dang Naomi. You just going to play me like that? At the time that it was happening, I didn’t care! All I knew was, I had help! And I didn’t hear anymore crying. I would run to the bathroom, get the water as hot as my skin could take it, and cry, or not. Depending on how tired I was. (Ha-ha.) I’d just lean against the wall.
I’ve almost bust my tail a couple of times too, closing my eyes and what not.
Having a new born is some work. Heck, it’s all work. But I want to do it again and again.
Naomi did start sleeping through the night at three months. That was a blessing.
I remember she use to wake up and want to play. She was about two months at that time. She would be laughing, and it would wake me up. Rob would already be up. (Who is not surprised?) That baby could pass gas, and he’d wake up. When I tell you he would be up, watching Naomi sleep. It would be like 2, 3 o’clock in the morning.
It done got real, real around here.
I’m very thankful for it all. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
US.
Smooches’.
oXoX.

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