Ho! (No.)

Ho! (No.)

Ho! (No.) 

Merry Christmas!

(NOW!!! Please don’t take the “Ho! Ho! Ho!” serious. I’m juuust trying to stay in the Christmas theme Chile. I thought the Ho! Ho! Ho! was um, catchy. So don’t get all caught up in that and don’t receive this here message, especially if the shoe fits. Because we ain’t going into to New Year with this bafoonery. No ma’am. No sir. No how. Just get into this word Chile. You’ll see what I’m Just Saying….)





YOU’RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!! Bust a ‘U-WEE’, we speaking french now. Keep up! And don’t look in your review mirror, side mirrors, and don’t you dare turn around and look back! Keep going straight until God GPSes you another way! Because the route you taking is a dead end Chile. 

Stop spreading yourself thin for nothing! Let me say it again! STOP SPREADING YASELF THIN FOR NOTHING! Think about the word thin now, because that means something too. NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING! So what are you doing? Why are you sleeping with this man, feeding this man, cleaning up after this man, stressing ova this man, crying ova this man, ETC, Etc, etc, and I do mean ETC. While he smacking and you lacking. This is a real question, and I’m asking fa me!!

Let me tell you something! (Whoa Chile! I can’t even type fast enough!) Let me tell you something. What Luther say, “Here and Now.” I packed up all my bags! Left a career and a job, a semester in school, and my family and friends because I love a man. I done been broke broke and done got it all back ten fold over (Thank you Jesus!) I let it all go fa the sack of love. Now, that’s my story. And I wouldn’t rewrite a script! Young, wild, and free. Full of in love, love, and like. Baby I dipped, baby dip! My parents rented a van Chile, and drove me from Virgina to Cleveland Ohio. That’s where my now husband had orders to do Recruiting Duty. #Usmc Now, some may say I’m crazy. I was too Chile. Crazy in love. Ha. Some may say, “Oh naw. I ain’t doing that.” Some people wouldn’t have done what I did. And that’s fine, ya know. We all have our opinions, and I respect that! So, I hope you respect this.

As long as I’m black and paying taxes! I ain’t neeeeeva eevvaaa gonna be with a man that ain’t even technically my man, that leaves me with a wet tail, and no money to buy a towel to dry it off with. That’s right! I said it. You scrambling fa money fa your kids Christmas gifts, but Billy just left ya house! Now, what type of not for nothing is going on here?! And why do he know what the inside of yo house look like, when you don’t know what the inside of his house looks like? That was that etc. You sleeping with the grinch who stole yo Christmas Chile all year round. He done came ova YO HOUSE, dropped one off in YO draws and left you to figure out what you going to do with this and that! How? Why? I have heard  three people speak on not being in the Christmas spirit before December even got here because they don’t have the money. But you playing open house to a man. At least charge a fee at the door! Don’t have no man laid up in your house in the wee hours of the night, when you worried about bills, and the oil change, or ya babysitting fee all during the day. 

I done left a whole dude alone cause he cared more about his shoe game, more than he cared about his bills and feeding me! So him had ta go. What the world! If a man can’t at least feed ya, give ya gas money, pay for babysitting to take you out, then you need to electric slide ya tell right on out of there!!! Because it ain’t about the money! It’s about the principle! 

True story….

I met this guy in Wal-Mart right. He approached me on the chip aisle. We exchanged numbers and what not. One night we were chit chatting on the phone and he asked me out on a date. (Oooh. I believe in dates. Even being married.) So yeah, ole boy asked me could he take me out. ME: Of course! Chile listen. I ain’t eva been a he a salad type of gal on a date. I might get a whole chicken on ya tail and then order a salad. I LOVE salads. I can eat multiple salads a day. I need a salad bar in my house. (Haha! Robs like, she ain’t lying.) So. I took notice that he neva mentioned he would pick me up. Which was like, ‘Oh, ok. Really?’ But then again I was like, ‘Mmm. Thats cool. I mean I don’t know this dude so, he don’t need to be picking me up from my house anyways. (I was living in my first apartment then. Me and my roommate. Best roomie eva.) So yeah, that’s what I was thinking at the time, ya know. So, I ended up being cool with him not picking me up once I put some thought into it. He gave me his address and I drove to his place. Got there, and this fool is waiting outside. (RED 🚩FLAG.) Like a bus fitting to pick him up or something. Like, what? Why??  My tail trying to see where to park in the drive way and this dude is like trying to approach the passenger side to get in! What you doing?! I almost fell out sitting down Chile. He opened the passenger door right, and the first thing I said was, “OH. I’M DRIVING?” He looked and me straight faced and said, “Yeah.” (Let’s take a moment of silence.) Oooooo baby! I was instantly turned off. I knew this was fitting to be the last time I would see his crusty tail before we even pulled out the drive way. Some one maybe like, “We’ll dang April. What did he do?” Oh, it ain’t what he did. It’s what he didnt do. These were my althoughts at the time. Sooo,  you won’t bout to tell me you didn’t have a car or license after YOU asked me could YOU take me out! Oooo heck no! Already communication is a epic fail. His ex must have been driving him around. Or, he was dropping her off at work one! Listen. Don’t think I ain’t made no mistakes. Because I have been with some! However! Once I started to work, get some goals under my feet and started achieving them for real without all the bull crap and noise. You can’t ride around in my unpaid fo car when you ain’t got ya own. And he ain’t even have a license! You ain’t driving my car. Matter of fact. My Daddy was the signer and I was the co-signer. He could take the car from the both of us. He’s a liability on the first date. He gots ta go! Oh yeah! Then he suggested Sonics! What!!! Wayment. This has gone too far! Now, I like Sonics. Not my favorite when it comes to the food. But I’ll knock down a butterfinger milk shake. Sure will. But not on my first date, that I drove too and had to pay for! Yeah I said it. I knew when I dropped that tail off I would never see him again. Nope! He’s a man without a plan. And I didn’t plan on being in his life. Won’t no need. Because when I got tired of picking him up, I couldnt be made with no one but myself! I won’t gonna stay because he was bute. He only a bute man walking. I’m good. His must have been smoking smoke to see me pull up in a brand new (literally) Chevy Cruze and think we bout to be riding around the city on my dime! He talking bout, “Where we going next?” Negro! YOU going home. I got my roommate to call my phone acting all crazy and irate so I could bail out of there without ever being seen again! Boy please! I wish I would. 

I said that to say this. To whom much is given much is required! If ya start off one way. You’ll mostly likely end up that way. Men see you however you see yourself! If you feel as if a man is worth your time and space to take up for nothing. Then he gonna treat you like nothing. I won’t about to start driving him around, cause I’d probably be driving him around forever. Ain’t no taxi cab service round here. Uber eitha. It’s one thing if we’re together and something happens, that’s one thing. But I ain’t meeting no man without a license and a car and continue to proceed, he can’t give me what I need. I ain’t ya momma. I ain’t about to spread myself thin, meeting a stranger. Women be knowing these things about men right. We be knowing. Then when we get mad. He ain’t _____. Chile please!  I ain’t neva heard nothing  mo sad than a man that mistreats, cheats, and beats his woman and he don’t have no job, up in HER house! Now, most people probably talking junk about the man right? Well, I ain’t most. Because the only fool I see in that house is the woman. QUEEN IF YOU DON’T PULL YOSELF TOGETHER AND LEARN YOURSELF SO YOU CAN LOVE YOSELF. Like I told you, the money isn’t the issue. It’s the principle that is. Some of y’all talking about y’all couldn’t get y’all tail whooped in school in a fight because ya momma would whoop ya butt when you got home. Well, somebody needs to be going upside ya head now! Because in my opinion, this is just absurd. 

When I met my husband he ain’t have a job in sight!! He would ask his mom for money to go get condoms. Now, that’s how you know you broke. But he had a plan. And I’m not saying all this because he is my husband. I’m just giving credit, where credit is due. Life wasn’t looking up for him when I met him. But like I said, he had a plan. And I watched him follow thru with it and hella succeed! He didn’t have a dime to his name. Shoot. At the time I didn’t either. (Haha!) I couldn’t help him if I wanted too. Ha. Like I was saying. For me, it wasn’t about him not having money. It was the fact that he wasn’t okay not having it. He didn’t want to be a grown man being taken care of. He wasn’t comfortable. He refuse to be stagnate. He ain’t neva let up. He came thru. He always has, and he always does. I ain’t got time for no whinny tail man. If I got two jobs, then boy you better have three. Or one good one! That’s the type of man I want. A man that can come thru in hard times. Because there will be a hard times. I’m not just talking finically eitha.

**LISTEN! I can’t be with a man who buys what he wants. But begs for what he need!!**

You have to listen to a man even when he ain’t talking. For example, if a guy takes you out to eat. And he tips dumb low or not at all. That’s a problem, fa me. You either, cheap, inconsiderate, or just a butt hole. Queen. Go after what you want. In all aspects! I done had some men talk me out and wine and dine me, but the chemistry neva made it to the table. So guess what, I dipped. After I ate though. I won’t gonna force myself to like someone that I know I don’t like, just because he does know how to show me a good time. STOP SETTLING CHILE. He was a blessing, but not mines.

And if a guy only sees you at night and neva during the day. Then you are what the old folks call a, “booty call.” 





Stop sleeping with these men for free .99!!! Take, “I can do bad all by myself.” for what it is! 

Im a woman that likes to be taking care of. I own that. Doesn’t mean in the slightest that I can’t take care of myself. Understand the difference. So, yeah. I know that a man without a car or license is a issue fa me, I like to ride shot gun with my man. I can’t fool with a man who won’t tip, because for me that’s an insult. I got my 325i BMW working at Apple Bee’s. I don’t want no cheap man, because I like to get my nails and toes done every three weeks and I don’t want to hear ya mouth. I don’t want no jealous man. You ain’t gonna micro management me and my time while I’m grocery shopping! I don’t want a man that doesn’t have good work ethic or any get up and go about him, because I might want to sit at home with my kids for the first few years and I ain’t gots no time to hearing no crying man, walking around the house acting like he run something cause he pays the rent! Maybe I’m like that because of how I was raised. I don’t know. My father is the true definition of a provider on all aspects. So, that’s what I wanted to marry. And that’s what I did. I didn’t want a man with kids because I can be selfish and I want it to be all about me! Making sacrifices for our daughter is fine. But sacrifices for another child you had with another woman, just wasn’t for me. I know that sounds harsh to some maybe. But it’s my truth. I definitely won’t fitting to be with a man that already had kids and doesn’t take care of them. What I think you gonna do fa me and mines? People will sometimes show you who they are without you having to ask. If a man already has a child or children and he doesn’t take care of, and then you get pregnant and he does the same thing. Whose foolish?? I’m just gone leave that that. And I bet that still went ova someone’s head. 

So, are you mad at what I said? Or, are you mad that what I said was true. I’m Just Saying

Merry Christmas. God Bless you and yours! 



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