The Knots Prayer
‘Dear God, Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life. Remove the have nots, the can nots, and the do nots that I have in my mind. Erase the will nots, may nots, might nots that may find a home in my heart. Release me from the could nots, would nots, and should nots that obstruct my life. And most of all, dear God, I ask that You remove from my mind, my heart and my life all of the ‘am nots’ that I have allowed to hold me back, especially the thought that I am not good enough.”
Hello my beautiful followers and supporters!! I had another blog prepared for today, but when I woke up this morning, God had other plans for me. I’ve heard quite a few conversations of people who are going, “through it.” In way one or another people are out here trying to make it the best they can. Whether it be a marriage in shambles, a financial crisis, a broken heart, or illness, people are really going through. I too have my days when I feel like I just, cant. How many ever experienced the, “when it rains it pours?” I have. I don’t like going through those periods of life. As I’m sure you don’t either. Only Lord knows I wish that everyday could be peaches and cream! But in this life, that ain’t (no typo) going to happen my dear. As long as you’re living in this world, there will be troubles. I promise you that it is not always going to be easy. Things will not always go according to your plan. The people you may love the most, and keep the closets to your heart may look at you and lie straight to your face. Once you get a little saving going on in that bank account, something else breaks and/or needs to be fixed. There is always something at some point in time in your life. Things will go wrong sometimes, for no apparent reason at all. There are times when life will not just let up, even when you’re doing every thing right. It’s like bad things happen to good people, and he bad people, nothing at all. Am I wrong? (Talk to me now.) But I also promise you this, stay ready, so you don’t have to get ready. Life man, life. And as long as you’re living your faith will be tested. (Oh, yes it will.) Your strengths will be tried. Your weaknesses will be prayed and played on, and you never know what you really can do, until you only have that option in doing it. Life is a mess down, bust down sometimes. Your past can follow you to your present, which clouds your mindset for your future. Please stop being so hard on yourself. I too, am talking to myself. You’re screaming to the roof top, and nothing is coming out. You try explaining yourself, and you feel so misunderstood. God has you in the palm of His hands. And even in your darkest hours, when someone says to you, “pray about it,” and that doesn’t seem like enough solution to the problem, that is when you should be praying the most. Things won’t always go your way, even in the times of praise. But the solution to it all is to have peace of mind despite Gods will.
Peace of mind is a must if you want to feel whole in your life. It’s hard to be whole, isn’t it?. A part of being whole is knowing how to have peace, and having peace. You follow me? With our thoughts alone we can direct our own horror story. Remember, as a man thinketh, so is he. In situations of despair, when you feel as if your hands are tied behind your back, pray. Speak life over yourself and the situation. God knows it’s nothing like having peace in the midst of the storm, I mean, half the time we chose to complain and mope around about what isn’t right, and what is always wrong. So, why not switch it up and speak how we want things to be and how we expect them to be. Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Don’t always be so quick to write checks that ya tail can’t cash from not keeping your mouth shut!
Listen, before we move any further, lets take off our shield of what other people expect of us, and what we expect from ourselves a lot of times. In the time I have talked to a few people about their problems and I sense the feeling of having to be strong. Now! Do not get me wrong, when someone is going through, I always suggest prayer, and strength. “Be strong now girl.” But what is really wrong with getting in your bed in the fetal position and crying out (literally) for help. Some people accompany tears with weakness. So untrue. To me, they are just liquid prayers. What is wrong with feeling washed up and hopeless. (In the time of being hopeless, you know what to ask God in hopes for.) I don’t suggest that you remain hopeless. No! I don’t want that for you. But so many people claim to be “okay” when they’re not, that will do you no good. Especially in the future! Be honest with how you feel! Lying, or convincing yourself otherwise won’t change the reality of your circumstances.
From me to you, let me just be the one to tell you, it’s okay to not have all the answers, to not be able to handle or fix a situation. Somethings are bigger than you, but God is bigger than everything.
A lot of our present issues steam from our past perplexities. What someone did to us. What someone said to us. Just in all general of what we’ve been though. For most people this is what hunts us up until our present day. Don’t worry I’m talking about me and to me too. A lot of issues that people go through, aren’t even issues of the present. It’s issues from the past that continue to follow us, mentally, and you look up and the past has become our present, which could potentially become our future. Do you follow me? We have got to break these chains people. It’s a must!
“Never lose sight of the power of your presence! Lasting love centers around present people. Those who simply showed up when others were derelict. Some live in a graveyard of their past. Others spend their time dreaming of their future. But, if you don’t sit staunchly in your present, you could easily cripple your future ad repeat the misfortunes of your past! I’ve learned to just be present and accounted for. Do I have dreams for tomorrow? Yes, absolutely! Do I have ghost from my past? That’s an inevitable part of surviving. But if I miss my present, I would have been robbed in a irreplaceable way. When the roll is called, be sure you are always present and accounted.” –TD Jakes. I’m telling you, God knew exactly what I needed today. Reading that is confirmation for all my thoughts this morning.
**Worry fades away when we know for sure our future is secure in God’s hands.**
Do I believe in wallowing in sorry? No. Do I suggest complaining all the time? Heck no, I do not. However, I do believe that we should go to God just as we’re at times, broken. I completely get trying to put on a certain face for the work place, but for God, there’s no need. I promise. It’s hard to be completely honest with ourselves when everything around us is in shambles. Being honest with yourself is like coming to agreement with the terms, and that can make the circumstances feel worse. So we lie. We hide what we really feel. We dummy dumb our emotions. but guess what, that isn’t going to make it go away. I won’t. I always felt because we try and be strong, and we keep trying to push through the pain (as you should) but at some point we need to give ourselves a break. If you’re scared, say it! If you’re hurt, say it! If you are clueless to the next move you’re going to make that could potentially change your life, say it! In my opinion, the lack of honesty we have with ourselves makes us a magnet to other problems. Eventually, in due time, the root of the problem will start to leak off in other areas of your emotions. You get what I am saying? People who are quick to anger. That steams from something. People who lack trust for any and everybody, even themselves. That steams from something.
When we our going though something we go from mad, sad, hurt, whatever, to “I’m good, I’m alright, its no big deal.” The lies you tell to get over the hump of pain that lives in you. Go through the process, that’s what I tell myself. If it’s not okay at the moment, then guess what? It’s just not okay. Shoot!!! I have learned to pray and speak life into my situation, my not so good days. We so easily speak so bad about life and everything that is wrong or could go wrong around us when things are not to peachy and cream. How about switching that up on the devil. Ya know, praise confuses the enemy chile.
What is it? Are you more concerned about what others around you will think of your situation, about your problems? Forget them! Listen! How do you feel? Will you just lie everyday to satisfy the need of everyone else because of what you think they think of you. It’s really not worth it in the end. Guess what! People are thinking like they are getting paid too. So whatever. Let them think. Because I promise you they are going to think anyways. Like I said, I understand the poker face for the work place, school, whatever. But lying to yourself is damaging. And the longer you lie to yourself you will start to believe it. It will catch up with you if you don’t handle to matter in a proper way. Past hurt, past people, past people will hunt you in some form or fashion if you don’t deal with the devil when he presents himself to you. I pray you understand what I am saying to you.
Now, I am very sure you have heard of, closure, right? Of course you have! To me, in my mind, it is needed. Unresolved matters causes pain. In your mind you try and piece together the unknown questions that only that person and/or situation can answer. And when you walk away (physically) and forced out of a situation with the mentality of I don’t care, I do believe the past will catch up to you. It takes more than leaving a problem physically. You have to do the same mentally and emotionally to feel whole. A lot of times we don’t feel like ourselves. And a lot of times that’s because we have the other half of us in a unneeded or unwanted area. You’re exhausted. You’re overwhelmed. And all the energy you put into someone else, or something else is much needed for yourself. Unresolved issues because of a broken heart, rings problem. Unanswered questions of daddy issues, momma issues, rings problems. You get what I’m saying? An issue that once mattered to you that is unresolved is a problem. It’s important to go through the motions. To me, I look at it as high school. You have your freshman year, sophomore year, junior year, and then, (bam) your senior year. It’s levels to life, and this is one of them. You go to school to graduate, right? I try and treat my problems the same. Now, I can’t speak for anyone else, but there is no way I could complete my freshman year and then (boom) graduate to be a senior without going through my sophomore or junior year. I feel like I’m all over the place. Please understand me.
God never said that it was going to be easy, but He did promise that it would be worth it. “I have told you these things so that in Me you may find great peace.” The gag is (in my Keke Palmer voice) is that we need to learn to trust God the way we trust people, but more!! Over and over again people fail us at some point in our lives, yet we still don’t even give God the benefit of the doubt. There is many reasons why I serve the Lord. But a lot of people have made it easy for me to trust what I can’t see, because a lot of what I’ve seen before has failed me, has let me down.
Pray for the happiness of those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. Luke 6:28
My faith was once back and forth for some time, but I can say for many years now I have put all my trust in God (hence previous blog post.) Don’t get me wrong now, I’ve come a long way, but it’s not always easy! Life is real, but so is God!! I continue to remind myself that the same God now, is the same God then. He does not change. And me personally, I appreciate that.
See, if you didn’t know I am a very emotional person. I am so passionate about the people, places, and things that I love. I base everything off of my emotions, and I react off of them in situations. I am learning that everything isn’t about just how I feel, but also how it things make other people feel. When I speak of something of any importance to me I am sure that even a stranger can see the compassion in the expressions I make, the words I speak and the confirmation through my body language. And God, He is who keeps me grounded. I am still practicing, be slow to speak, and quick to listen. I have got it pretty much down packed when it comes to things and people that don’t matter. But for things and people who do, I am not a closed mouth person. Closed mouths do not get fed. But it is God who also reminds me, if I talk too much, I wont hear Him. And God knows I be listening.
Sometimes to get over or out of a situation we lick our own wounds and call it quits. But honestly, that is not good enough. I am not talking about for other people, but I am talking about for ourselves. I encourage you to feel how you feel about a issue. Talk to God, and let Him handle the rest. Don’t allow other people to tell you how to feel. Don’t allow a loved one to dummy down how you feel so it can be beneficial to them. Acting as if everything is okay, when it really isn’t, just to be strong is beneath you. Go through your pain, so when you say that you have let it go, it’s really gone! Pretending will not get you anywhere. Acting as if your circumstances is okay, or no big deal when it is, is not okay. At some point in life it’s not about lying to other people, but it’s about telling yourself the truth. And if you continue to walk around as if you have it all figured out, and that you’re okay, but you’re not, you will be piling problems over top of problems for the rest of your life. I’ve seen people go through hell and high water with people, places, and/or things. And then one day they’re like, “Oh, I’m fine, I’m just focusing me.” And yes that very well can be true, but is it? Is it really? Sometimes when people shoot me a fast one (a lie) after I have prayed with them and for them as they cry a river of tears I know that they try and convince themselves something different because it makes them feel better at the moment, but will it later. Why lie? Is the lie for you or for someone else?
Go through your emotions, and stop being more concerned about what people think about you and your feelings, because nine times out of ten, that’s why you’re pretending. Or maybe you lie because it’s pleasing to a love one. You don’t want to upset them. You don’t want them to go away. But what is that doing for you? How is that helping you? Ask yourself these questions. And answer with honesty.
I know this blog probably seems all over the place. My brain is working ya’ll! However I do hope that you are picking up what I am putting down. Have a blessed day. A blessed life. Trust God. Lean on Him. He will, He will provide!! I will say this in closing though. Sometimes you have got to just have ya own pep rally. (I read this in a Joyce Myers book, Get Your Hopes Up.) She mentioned how in middle/high school we celebrate the football teams win before the team even conquers that win. We scream, we laugh, we yell with excitement in knowing that we’re going to win the football game. Well, heck, why can’t we do that with life in general? During the darkest hours of your life I want you (me too) to celebrate our wins before we officially win! Have a pep rally! What you want and need that hasn’t happened YET, speak it in your pep rally. Shout it out in your pep rally. If you want peace, forgiveness, patience, joy, scream it at the top of your lungs as if you have already won, because guess what?! You have won! I’m Just Saying….
A Prayer for Release
“Heavenly Father, I release to You the burdens that I have been carrying, burdens that You never intended for me carry. I cast ALL my cares upon You-all my worries, all my fears. You have told me to not be anxious about anything, but rather to bring everything to You in prayer and in thankfulness. Father, calm my restless spirit, quiet my anxious heart, still my troubling thoughts with the assurance that You are in control. I let go of my grip upon the things I have been hanging onto, with opened hands I come to You. I release to Your will all that I am trying to manipulate. I release to Your authority all that I trying to control; I release to Your timing all that I have been striving to make happen. I THANK YOU for Your promise to sustain me, preserve me, and guard ALL that I have entrusted in Your keeping. Protect my heart and mind with Your peace, the peace that passes all understanding. Father, may Your will be done in my life, in Your time, and in Your way. “
Amen.