THIS IS AMERICA….

Hey Chile!!!!

I said, ‘Yes!’ three years ago. WOW! I sometimes can’t believe I am actually married. Like, whoa. Chile, if you would have told me a year before I got married that I would be getting married. I would have probably cursed you out for being funny! No, like for real. I ain’t never played about Rob! For those who know, (HAHA!! I LEGT JUST BURST OUT LAUGHNG.) Chile, we were a mess honey. Some of ya’ll probably think I’m talking about fighting. Haha. We’ll just go and assume, that’s the new trend these days it seems like, so.
Anyways, I did not have a wedding. Umm…I would love to have a wedding honestly. It would be absolutely beautiful, fun, and filled with a whole lotta love. I can picture it now. But, in all truth, if I never have one, I won’t be disappointed. I’m happy. *Snickers* I’m happy and married, that seems hard these days. So, yeah. I focus on that part. The most important part, the actually marriage. I tune out all the…all the…this, that, and the third about marriage these days. If you allow yourself to get caught up in what other folks think, or what people are doing in their marriage, you’d be real quick to get caught up mentally. THE DEVIL DONE CAUGHT ME SLIPPING TOO MANY TIMES BEFORE. I’m AMORED NOW! What’s good? I can’t and refuse to get or be caught up in other people’s perspectives of what they think something is or ain’t. That’s how ya get caught up. Remember what I said about, marching to the beat of your own drum the other day?
So, yeah, we didn’t have a live and lavish wedding. But what we did have was each other, two witnesses (My parents.) and oh yeah, Naomi, I was with child and good ole Jesus! We got married in Columbus, Ohio on a Monday in May. ONE OF THEE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE! My phone was booming and bucking with texts and calls. And my mail was lit for about a month! I married my best friend! I was happy. I am happy. So, even though I think about the, what ifs of our matrimony, I know everything happened the way it was suppose to happen. Our crazy, funny, love story.
I used to hate, yeah hate, when I couldn’t always do what other people do. Ya know. I wanted to have a wedding, with bride’s maids, with dozens and dozens of flowers. But, I was pregnant and just moved from Virginia to Cleveland. I was on a mission to find a job and get enrolled in someone’s school. And then my period did not come on. Real life set in. And all my wants changed into priorities. I started stacking money instead of spending it.
Chile, you talking about things moving fast! I had sex, blinked one eye, and was pregnant. Dang, I had just moved Cleveland! I didn’t even know the street name yet. But yet, here I am pregnant and scared.  (I can see me now in the bathroom.) HaHa! I’m silly. I trip my own self up. I was in disbelief, happy, scared. I was everything. But you know what, this is the truth (My truth.) and real. When I found out what was pregnant, I was like oooh, miiiiii, God, help me. I ain’t never been pregnant before Chile! What am I suppose to do? Rob and me had just moved in together, that means, getting to know each other in a new way. And I’m knocked up like no other. But I always had solace in the fact knowing that this little human inside of me would have a heck of a father. Someone who would lead, teach, provide, etc. That made me feel good, safe.  CAUSE FOR THOSE WHO AIN’T CAUGHT ON YET. IT TAKES MORE THAN MONEY TO RAISE A CHILD! I CAN’T STAND SOMEONE WHO SAY’S “I can’t wait until my baby is 18.” THEN WHAT? YOU AIN’T NO PARENT NO MO? Chile, go get you some sense. yeah, I said it.
So, yeah, back to what I was saying. Chile, you know how I do. Stay telling stories in a story.
We didn’t have a wedding, and what would stop me from having a wedding now?
Money!!
The only way I would have a wedding is if we hit the lottery. Straight up!
If my parents told me now that they would pay for my wedding, I’d tell them, “Heck no you ain’t. But I got something you can pay for!”
Pay that BMW off!! Real talk. 
Let’s get this degree popping and all these extra certifications. (With no Sally Mae. I ain’t fooling with no loans. I ain’t got them at 28. I ain’t about to start now!)
Now, I can’t tell ya’ll all my business, and what not.
I got plans.
I got goals.
And marrying my best friend was one of them. But now that I think about it. I didn’t say nothing about a wedding to Jesus in all the praying I did for him, me, and us. I just skipped all over that part. (ONLY FEW WILL UNDERSTAND THIS.) We’ll you get what ya ask for. And that’s why my tail got married in a court house. But my ring LIT though.
Real talk, those things are amazing. And like I said, if I could afford a wedding. The wedding of my dreams, Chile, I would be planning it now. But as long as I got that car note, I ain’t planning nothing but birthday parties around here!! (HaHaHa!)
My Pinterest board is lit!! With wedding ideas though! A girl can dream right? I reckon I got the hardest part out the way by having the groom already.
Some probably would assume that Naomi would be the flower girl right? Naw, that lady is going to be maid of honor! (I think that’s wright. Chile I don’t know.)
My ace boon coon, best friend she is!
Could you guess, if you know me, know me, what color my wedding would be? Don’t answer that Chile. I don’t even know what color I would want my wedding. I can think of two definite colors though. For sure.
Okay, so in other news.
I want to talk about DRUGS.
Yeah, drugs.
And no, I am not talking about marijuana.
I’m talking about heroin, meth, molly, and PCP.
People have been getting high and overdosing since the beginning of times. We’ll let me make myself clear. BLACK PEOPLE have been getting high, overdosing, and needing help for decades. Shoot, centuries. But as soon as these precious white kids started getting high and over dosing, now America needs to do something.
THIS IS AMERICA….
Just let that settle in real quick. (Just think about this. I’m going to write a whole blog about this here. )
Moving on….
Creativity.
I have had a few people ask me what made me want to blog so much. Well. I wanted to blog years ago. Like, eight, nine years ago. I was clueless on what to do. How to start. What to say. Back then when I first heard about blogging and became interested in it, I would have never thought I would actually have a successful blog one day. #WOW. But yeah, one reason I like, (Scratch that.) love to blog, is because this is where I can be me. This is my house. This is my place. I am who I am here. I am who I want to be here. This is my creativity. There is no right or wrong here. It is mines. When I first created my blog, i was so happy and hype! But I was also very frustrated. Things weren’t panning out how I thought they would . Lets just say that more people I don’t know support me more than folks I do know. But that’s neither here no there. I would read other bloggers, and I’d try and be like them. I didn’t have my own rhythm. I was just lost in the sauce, looking for a guiding light. 
Then I realized that boxing myself in to fit in was the only thing keeping me stagnate. I wanted to write and talk about things that people wanted to hear. OH FO GET THAT!! Just so I can have thousands and thousands of followers. PA-LEASE!!! I WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL. FO GET THE FOLLWERS CHILE. I FOLLOW JESUS AND THAT’S ALL I KNOW. THAT’S ALL I NEED TO KNOW.  Let’s just say, I got bored real easy not being me. Trying to sound a certain way when I wrote. Chile, I don’t even talk like that. Plus, it ain’t like I’m writing a ten-page paper for my college professor. I write (Talk) how I talk. My supporters that know me personally, I am positive when they read my blogs they just laugh because they can hear me. Hahaha! Me and my family will wear the word Chile out too. My blog is me! That’s one of the reason why I love to blog. This is one place I am me. I read other peoples blogs now for pure enjoyment. No more reading other people’s blogs to see how they do it.
Listen hun bun. There will be millions of people doing or trying to do what you’re doing too. But all that doesn’t matter though. You have to confidence in knowing, ‘Can’t nobody do it like me though.’ Straight up!! Stop doubting yourself. And this is coming from someone who is just getting started. I am no where near where I want to be with my goals. But I’ve started. And my website is definitely one of the layers to my foundation. So yeah Chile, do you. Be you. Don’t feel uncomfortable applying pressure to yourself. When things in life become a wreck. I know deep down in the depth of my soul that God is about to show up and show out. And the devil is only trying to take me out before I receive my blessingS. Only a few will understand this.
When I first shared with my Husbae about me wanting to blog, no like, seriously he wasn’t at all surprised. However, he was surprised when I was about to cop out a few weeks before actually doing it.
ME: I DON’T KNOW. I MEAN, EVERYONE IS BLOGGING I FEEL LIKE.
HIM: AND? WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?
#Him (Inserts heat emoji here.)
So yeah, take that and make that your motivation for the day, the week, the month, or even the year.
“AND? WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?”
That’s a real question
“Give up OR get up.”
What is something that is no big deal to you, but you could not live without? For me, it’s a tooth/flosser. You know the things that you can floss and pick ya teeth with. Omg, I have it bad with flossing.
I’m so random right? I know. (HAHA! I play too much.)
I be typing my tail off with these nails too Chile. I don’t think that I could even type without nails. I need to do a cut them down though. A real cut down eventually. They don’t phase me, but still. My nails grow sooo fast. I think that’s why I don’t want to cut them though, because they’re mines. I guess it would be like cutting your hair. Ya know?
I need to start watching more YouTube videos on makeup and natural hair tutorials too. I buy all this makeup and don’t even know what to do with some of it. It’s crazy. I went from wearing make up every day, to wearing a full face of makeup to special occasions. I mean, I do natural beats these days. still cute though. I’m Just Saying
Okay, so in REAL NEWS.
I’ve had a couple of folk ask me why do I get up so early? Mm…I don’t know how to take that. I mean, what you mean?
Anyways.
So, for those who do not know, I get up every morning at 6 o’clcok. Sometimes I be slipping though, and I end up getting out the bed at 7 o’clock. It all depends on the night before. But most mornings I do good, including the weekends. For real, for real, I prefer getting up super early on the weekends. I can go run by myself. Saturdays and Sundays are the morning where I feel like I can extra get it in. All I need is about 45 minutes tops. My Husbae is in the bed sleep still and so is Naomi. I give Rob the heads up and I be out.
So yeah, I get up every morning no later than 7 o’clock. Like I have to be in a legit mood to lay around. That’s what bed time is for.
In all truth, I like to keep myself in a routine in the morning. Even if it’s a morning that I don’t walk. I go ahead and do my Pinterest workout.
Side Bar: I’m drinking hot green tea right now and lemon. It’s really good for you. I feel refreshed.
Like I was saying, I like to keep myself in a routine. Even if it’s not the same thing, it’s something. I like to keep busy. And that I am. (It’s funny when people assume what you have going on right? Ha. (You have no idea.) I mean, who said you had to share anyways? Ya know. I think because social media is so dominant these days and ya know that’s where everyone is. That’s cool. Cause I’m there too. That’s how people get to know my blog. But other than that, I like to keep things on the low, low. Ya know, the hush, hush. Some people share everything. Hey! To each its own. But me, not so much.
The ideal mind is the devil’s work shop. So, it’s very important, I’d like to think, to keep ya mind busy. Busy on the things that make you smile, laugh, giggle, shiver whatever. And I do mean shiver in a good way. Keep ya mind focused on those things. Whether it be a person, place, or thing. The devil is busy. And when the devil wants to break you down, he breaks you down in your mind first. You know the devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And the easiest way for him to break you down is to get into your mind.
Listen, and if I’m lying! I’m flying. I honey, I ain’t flying. If I was flying I would fly my tail back to Virginia real quick to get this hair did.
But anyway….
When I get to thinking about a situation in my life, whether it be current, the past, or worries about the future. I get to rebuking the devil. Yes, I do. Some of ya’ll may be like, “Huh?” “What?” Yes, I rebuke the devil.
I ain’t got time to be mad, sad, or tripping on something the devil tried to implant in my mind. Because I sure didn’t choose to think about it. You know how you wake up some mornings, and it’s ‘one of those days.’One of those days. I mean, at the end of the day, what does that mean? One of them days. You mean the days when nothing is wrong, but everything is wrong? Chile, we be tripping. We do. We done woke up, on our own, can put one leg in front of the other, and we still wake up with the thought of, “Ugh.”
Now listen, I ain’t even try to say that I don’t have these mornings. The devil be trying it! But I made a choice! I made an adamant choice to not allow my thoughts, (PAUSE) the devils thoughts dictate my day and how I feel.
Chile, I get busy real quick. I get my Jesus Calling book out. Oh my gosh. I love that book. It is a reminder!!
GP ARE YOU WITH ME? OH YEAH….!!!!!
Chile, I get that play list out and get to it.
I done even Googled Tamela Mann’s phone number. I was gonna try and call her up and ask her to take me to the King Chile.
I don’t like being in a uneasy, unwanting place in my mind.
I woke up last night at 2 o’clock in the morning. I got to thinking about nonsense. Stuff that I hadn’t even thought about before.
Guess what?
I started praying. Not nothing deep. Just talking to God Chile.
I just said something to the effects of, “Thank you Jesus for today. It was a good day. Thank you for Your grace and mercy. Thank you Father for allowing me and my family to have a fun day out with one another and getting us home safe…..” And then I woke up, and it was 6 o’clock.
Bam!
Time to get up.
Funny how all of a sudden, I went to sleep like it was nothing when I started praying. The devil be trying it Chile. He be trying it! Don’t get caught up in that!!
Don’t allow your mind to be the devils victim.
Stop choosing what type of crazy is crazy in ya life. GOD IS NOT THE AUTHOR OF CONFUSION. YOU BETTER HUSH THE DEVIL.
You ever listen to someone talk about focusing on them. And doing this. And doing that. They on their high of motivation. But they hang with stagnate folk. Loving up on dry tail folk. Go right on ahead and keep messing with folk who will only give you a pint of love when you want a gallon. STOP entertain the things that give them the least peace, and then blame it on the devil. NOW. I AIN’T DEFENDING THE DEVIL. I’m just trying to tell you to take accountability of your situations.
I believe that horrible things happen in this life we live. But I am also aware that a lot of the troubles I had, were ones I created, and blamed other people for. Can we say, ACCOUNTABILTY. (Say it in my singing voice.)
Is that you?
Shame the devil and tell the truth. Only you and Jesus have to know.
Alright…
We’ll I guess I’ll go ahead and wrap this up. I have so many other things to chit chat with you about. I went through allot of my old journals from like 2, 3 years ago. Filled with things I wanted to talk about and share before I even had a blog. Some of those journals are like 5 years old.
So, I’m super excited! And you should be too!
And remember this…
IF YOU’RE WILLING TO WORK FOR IT. DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT!!
I’m Just Saying…

xoxo.

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