Y’all Ain’t Got No Chicken?!

This is a picture of me before the chicken tragedy. Good ole Sally days. (Cleveland, Ohio.)

Buck!

Buck!

Chicken. Chicken.

Buck!

Buck!

Chicken LEG! 🍗 

Chile! I remember this day just like it was yesterday! I was about five, maybe six months pregnant and I was hunger as heck and I knew exactly what I wanted! I was working part time at Sally’s Beauty Supply store at the time, and this particular Saturday morning I was craving Hardee’s like no otha!! My shift was 11am-4pm and you better believe from the time I woke up that morning up until 3:59 I knew I wanted me some Hardee’s chicken, mash potatoes, string beans, and a big ole thang of peach cobbler! I might even get two! (Peach cobbler.) And for the record. I didn’t want a personal meal. I wanted a bucket! Can we say, LEFT OVERS! I wanted to eat, go to sleep, and wake up and do it all ova again. I was gonna sop them mash potatoes up with a couple of biscuits. Ooo, they be real soft in the middle.   Whoa Chile. I had a few pregnancy cravings. Hardee’s was most definitely one of them. However, Thank God it didn’t last long. Because it was definitely short lived! And I’m fitting to tell you why! Right now! 

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It was 3:59 pm on a bright and sunny Saturday, in good ole Cleveland Ohio. Sally’s was slow as eva and I could’ve been more happier. I worked with my manager this particular day. Chile, she was simple and 2+2. God bless her heart. Woo Chile. Anyways. I was ready to make a bee line right out the front door! I had my belongs in hand and I clocked out, quick, fast, and in a hurry. My mouth was watering. I knew I wanted Hardee’s but first I had to find one. I googled for what seemed like an enternity and then, BOOM! Wah-la! I foud a Hardees! I went about 20 minutes south of my place. But I did not care! I put my seat belt on, found some tunes, and put the pedal to the medal. Or is it the medal to the pedal? Either way, you catch my drift. 

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I sung to the top of my lungs all the way to Hardee’s! Windows slightly rolled down. Catching the Jesus breeze. I pull up to the Hardee’s, and I took notice that it was empty. Like, I’m the only customer empty. I was hype Chile. No people. No lines. No wait. Badda Boom! Badda Bam! (I should have known better right then!!! God sends warnings before disasters.) I whipped my car into the drive thru not needing a menu. I could taste the chicken. I should have known something was up when I didn’t smell the chicken though. I pulled up to the intercom. *Clears throat* Before the guy could finish his opening Hardee’s statement, I placed my order loud and clear! “And can you please put extra napkins in the bag?” Not really asking. I was ready to receive my order, get home, take my bra off, kick back and relax. I had waited all morning and half the day for this moment and then the man said, 

I’m sorry ma’am. But uumm, we don’t have any chicken.” 

ME: “Oh okay. That’s fine. How long is the wait on some fresh chicken?” (I’m thinking they needed to drop some chicken in the grease Chile.) 

Ma’am we don’t sale chicken at all at this Hardee’s.

ME: Excuse me?! I’ll be in there in a minute! 

Now let’s just stop right there! What did I think I was fitting to do when I got in there? I done told the man, “I’ll be in there in a minute.” And what? He just going to magically have some chicken. Chile, I am weak off myself right about now. (Ha.) I was acting just like the people I be talking about. Acting foolish! 

 I park my car and jump out the driver seat like I’m bout that life, preggo and all, ova some chicken! I semi wobbled towards the entrance of Hardee’s. As I got closer to the building, I could see three males standing watching me from the inside. I can only imagine what they were thinking. Buck buck, chicken head. Haha! 

Oh gosh, here we go. (Tee-hee.)

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I get inside and the first thing I say is, “Y’all ain’t got no chicken?” Thank God I was the only customer in there. I was making a fool out of myself. Acting all foolish and politely irate ova some dog on drive thru chicken. All three of the guys looked at me craaazy! One guy finally spoke up. “Ma’am we don’t have any chicken, I do apologize, but I can get you something else.” He was supposedly the manager. Here goes me. “But I don’t want anything else! I want chicken!” I didn’t come for the burgers and fries, or the wieners. I came for the fried chicken, mash potatoes, string beans, and a huge thang of peace cobbler. That’s all! I had a craving for some Hardee’s chicken, and that’s what I wanted. Tuh heck with everything else off the menu! 

The manager and me went back and forth for a few seconds about how every Hardee’s doesn’t sale chicken. (Clearly!) Still not trying to hear what he was saying. I just starred at him blankly. Eventually we just laughed. I knew I was being simple. And I reckon they were bored as eva, so. The cook comes from the back. Chile, he looked like someone’s Uncle Pete or Leroy coming from the kitchen. He had five salt and pepper corn rolls on his head and a goatee. He looked at me, and then said exactly this:

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You country as a ______ you know that?” (And he was seriously asking a question. It’s like he wanted me to shake my head yes or no. Haha. Idk.) Where you from young lady? “Virginia.” Yeah, I figured something like that. (I chuckled. We went over why I was in Cleveland and how I had neva heard of such a thing!) “Look listen, (He got serious.) I don’t have any chicken back here to fry you up.” ME: “But I’m pregnant.” He said, “I SEE.” with wide eyes. I about fell out laughing. Excuse me!? We all giggled. I was still mad though. I came for chicken and I wasn’t leaving with any. Ugh. He fixed me a nice ole burger, hot fries, and a strawberry milk shake with extra whip cream. I crushed that before I even got home Chile.  He did throw in a little cheese burger too, and I did eat it later. But I ain’t neva go back and get another one eitha. Chile. It was a day. I went home, ate, went to sleep and dreamed about some Hardee’s chicken. 

Point is, expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed I guess. Hahaha! 🐓

I’m Just Saying...

Merry Christmas to you & yours. χσχσ.💋

gσ∂ вℓєѕѕ.

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