3 A.M. Chronicles

Oh my goodness. So I am up and it is 3:21 in the morning! My husband is beside me sleeping and I’m up, bright eyed and bushy tail (I chuckle.) Usually at this hour if I’m up my mind would be all over the place, bad places. I would lay in bed thinking about all the things that could possibly go wrong. I would start having anxiety about things that have not even happen. So I came up with a method for the devil when I would be up in the wee hours of the morning. Next thing I know I wake up and it’s morning. The devil doesn’t want anyone praying. That’ll teach him. We’ve  had this conversation once before.

I turned on the television, of course there ain’t a dog on thang  on T.V. Go figure!!! I click on Netflix as my usual “go too” and what do you know!  Netflix is acting simple. Whatever. Hey, I believe everything happens for a reason, even the little things we don’t think about in our day to day activities. I’m glad the t.v. is dessert dry and Netflix is in its own zone right now because now I’m talking to you at 3:28 a.m. (I legit laugh) what do you know. I’m like wife awake right now. Haha.

I’ve been beating myself up about not posting as much as I should be. But I will do better. I’ve come to far with this blog to just to let it fall to the waste side. So here goes.

I don’t have a lot to say at the moment. I mean, sure I can spark up a good ole conversation in the snap of a finger. But, tonight I’m just at peace knowing that if I trust God in all things I can’t fail, I won’t fail.

I’ve been out of my element lately I feel like. I’ve really been piecing myself back together since I’ve had Naomi. It’s been just a little  over a year and  I’m just starting to feel like me. I have about 10 more pounds I want to lose but I’m getting there. It’s been a long  summer but then again it went by fast. Does that make sense to you? Oh, well….I get it.

Anyways this entire summer consisted of gym and preparing for Naomis 1st birthday party. The memories we want to make for our children, I tell ya. Naomi was so oblivious to everything. But because Naomi is a priority and traveling home after months of not seeing your loved ones  is a lot to factor in when you know you’re hitting the road in a few months. Months turn into weeks fast and the days roll up on you like, “what’s up?” So the entire summer I was preparing for our family vacation and in a sense I put myself on the back burner. In the mist of me putting myself on the back burner I took in a lot of things. Casualties, thoughts, words, goals, fears, accomplishments etc. Lots of it I jotted down, some of it I wrote a story about.

Ive gotten so stuck in this comfort zone. Which in all truth I deserve it and I’m not ashamed of it. But it’s very important to me to utilize my blessings. I mean, I did pray for this. But God forbid Samantha Ettus found out I lounged around all day today. Ya know stay at home moms are just a ball of mush. (Haha) Let her tell it. I’ll deal with that lady later.

Anyways….

My cup runeth over with letters and words that come together to tell a story, my stories. My reality. My fantasies that become real life. My fantasies that haven’t come to life, yet.

Let me tell you about a song. I know I’m all over the place right now. Just keep up with me. A song will take me back to a certain person, place, or thing. Most of the time it consisted of the same person, place, or thing. This guy to the left of me. Haha, what do ya know. The person was him, the place was wherever he was, and the thing was whatever we had going on at the time.

The lyrics to a song  could always tell you what I was feeling at the time if you listened to me sing. It could be two words in a song that could tell my whole life at the time with a hook and a beat.

Sam Smith In the Lonely Hour was the album that played from track 1 to track 16 constantly. Then Tamar Braxton album Love & War came out and Love & War song itself  was a hit and it was my jam. “All The Way Home” became a repeat song really quick though  and “Pieces” was my anthem.

“I deserve more than just a little part, I don’t want nothing if I can’t have it all. I ain’t even gonna pray for something I can’t keep. I want the whole thing, don’t forget about me.”

That verse spoke volumes every time I heard it.

Then Keyshia Cole The Point of No Return came out. Heck she was angry and so was I. So, hey there ya go. We were a heck of a duo.

Sometimes I would get lost in the instruments being played in the back ground. I created my own words in my thoughts. Especially in a lot of Sam Smith songs. He has a lot of instruments in his music.

I know right now you’re wondering what am I blabbing about. I mean give me a break  ok, it’s 4:01 in the morning. I’m not all too sure what I’m saying at the moment either. Just think outside the box.

And I speak on instruments because I played one well technically two. I played the flute and piccolo. So I love music more than I love the lyrics. I bet if you were to close your eyes while a instrumental is being played  you could tell you own story. You’ll create your own story. Each instrument is a different part in your life. Deep huh?!

Well im getting sleepy now. I’m sure you can tell. (Teehee.) I’m not going to submit this tonight. Mostly for spell error and minor mistakes. But I’m sure I’ll be cracking up when i read this when I wake up.

I promise you I won’t delete anything. Now as I get ready to lay down and close my eyes, I’m going to think of a title until I drift away.

Nitey Nite.

Signed: RedLipstickandCammies