Trust Your Struggle

Hey Chile!!!!

Long time no hear from. I know, I know. Life got real real for me real quick! Expectantly, but also unexpectedly. I had to tap out for a few Chile. I had to step aside. Any who, enough about me. I promise I will fill you in on that sooner than later!

Right now I just want to chit chat. Lets get comfy cozy, and just talk. Lets release, relieve, relate, and revamp.

Close ya eyes.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Lets get it.

Do you spend time alone? Ya know, time with me, myself, and I?” It’s importance in being alone with yourself. Instead of being alone and focusing on what you don’t have, could have, and want to have. Spend time alone praying for what you want, what you need, and what you most long for. Meditate, quiet the voices and the expectations of what people say you should and shouldn’t have at this age and stage in your life. Now, if you’re currently going through it right now, you’re probably saying all of this is easier said than done. Well, I say moping around and complaining about it isn’t beneficial to you either, so.

You’re right where you’re supposed to be in your life. If you don’t understand it now. I promise you one day you will.

True story,

I used to be lost in the sauce. The hot sauce, soy sauce, bbq sauce, and then some. I’m telling you I’ve felt pain that I never thought I could surpass. Oh, if you only knew. My car and the shower were my sanctuary for tears and sorrow. I used to fill my tank up just to ride out in my own pity party. I used to feel low and incapable. I used to feel sorry for myself. Until I started to get on my own nerves, is when I realized if nothing changes, nothing changes. Sitting around moping about all the mishaps in my life surely wasn’t going to make things better. As a man thinkeths so is he. And my thoughts were far from anything pleasant most days. I definitely remember the days I dreaded getting out of bed to face the day. I was so fed up with being miserable. I made a conscious choice to choose happiness even when nothing was happening. Because whether you know it or not, the blessing is in the battle.

“With every blessing there is a battle. The level of the battle you face is a indication of the blessings you will receive. No one robs an empty house. If you’re under attack there is something to be gained.”

See, I was so loyal to ineffectiveness that it was sickening! It was like I was addicted to habits that were ineffective. INSANITY. I wanted different but did the same things over and over again. Just for moments of pleasure. Stupid. I realized with each day and each prayer that nothing in my life would change physically if I didn’t change mentally. Everything starts with self. Home base. Stop being so anxious to give others what you aren’t willing to give yourself. Give yourself the value that you seek from others. Now that I know me and love me. I will cut people off with the quickness. The more I learn myself and get to know me. I know who I want to be around and who I don’t. I know what I want to be around and what I won’t. I stand out, not fit in anymore. Even if you in particular haven’t done anything to me, but you have craziness and chaos around you. I’m dipping. Gots tuh go. Everyone is not for you. Be fine with that. I prefer a few solid people in my life. Rather than a immense amount of still folks. Still this. Still that. Still complaining. Still unmotivated. Still mad. Still doing the same things and still don’t want to change. Still asking questions and still don’t want the real answers. It is my right to not want to be around those types of people! I didn’t even want to be around me when I was still. I can be honest and say I’m critical when it comes to people. But that is because I’m critical of myself. I like to continually move up the latter in all aspects of my life. I don’t do well with stagnant minded folk. Eh. I admire people who have fought their way through their struggles and now they stand ten toes down in their goals and dreams. Quite a few people come to mind. Smoke the struggle. Don’t let the struggle smoke you.

Before anything the battle starts in your mind. Once you start allowing the enemy to live rent free in ya mind feeding you doubt and insecurities, you’ll be fighting with both hands tied behind your back. Life is bold and as long as you’re living, there will be problems of some kind at some point. There are enough things in life that will occur that we cannot control. Don’t drown yourself in what ifs and what if not. We live in fear of things that haven’t even happened. I am consistently feeding my soul with prayer, meditation, reading words of hope, faith, and peace. But mostly I surround myself with people who have substance and drive. Good vibes only. I crave to be around people who fight to work through their problems. Not settle in them. These days I wake up rejuvenated. And when there is one of those days, because there will be those days. I feed my mind things that I know are good for me and good to me. I no longer allow the devil to make me feel as if one bad day, or a rough week is a bad life. I instantly gravitate to things I am truly thankful for. My daughter, her health, her happiness for example. I thank God for the little things that we don’t seem to worry about until we no longer have them. Like this here AC in this hot tail desert heat. Whew Chile.

And another thang! Stop letting other folks problems weigh you down! Now what in the heck are you going to do with your problems when someone else’s have already swallowed you up whole? I left those days in my review. The days I would counsel the hell out of folk but couldn’t counsel myself. I always knew how to help someone else, but couldn’t help me! Chile please! I only answer my phone for certain people these days and don’t feel bad about it.

Find solace in the little things so that you can appreciate graciously the bigger things. I look back and think maybe that’s why God took His time with me. I was so ungrateful at certain times in my life. I was too busy complaining about what I didn’t have and to caught up in when was I going to get it.

These days, it’s nothing like a lit candle, face mask, a bubble bath, and a warm bathrobe afterwards. Oh yeah, and a nail appointment. Chile, I’m something about a mani & pedi. I’ll spend hours reading a book of knowledge or a book for joy. Anything to keep from scrolling social media attending to everyone else outside of myself before bed.

We’ll, I’m fitna wrap this thang on up Chile. I’m about to have a lit concert shower. I’m kind of feeling Maxwell tonight. Or maybe a little Teddy Pendergass, but DVSN never lets me down either.

So yeah, I really enjoyed chit chatting with you. I promise you’ll be hearing from me real soon. Until next time. χσχσ.

Oh yeah, one mo thang.

Other peoples perception of you is none of your business!

I’m Just Saying…

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