- Sad
- Disappointed
- Hurt
- Embarrassed
- Hopeful
- Hopeless
- Frustrated
- Confused
- Misunderstood
- Mad
I’m not really sure if you are aware or not, but you know it’s okay, to not be okay all the time.
I really do feel like we are so hard on ourselves as people because we do more so of what is politically correct more than what is good for ourselves. We do not execute our emotions or how we really feel about things in our life or in life in general because we’re more fixated on how we are suppose to feel about certain people or certain situations. We are told a lot of times how we’re suppose to act and react to circumstances. It’s okay to go through the (e)motions just so you know.
A lot of times we pretend we’re okay and we couldn’t be any further from the truth. Putting on a false face is not always the answer. Who said emotions make you weak anyways? I feel going through them makes you stronger if anything.
I strongly believe that the not so okay times are the times that build character in ourselves. Well, I’m sorry, I will speak for myself. It defines who I am in a sense. I feel like I’ve gotten to know myself more in times of chaos.
I mean how hard is it to be happy when everything in your life is HAPPY. I mean dang!! Why do I always find a need to have something to be complaining about? I swear I’m starting to get on my nerves. Where am I not being fulfilled? What is missing? What am I’m lacking?
Problems do not have to necessarily be awful for you to not be okay. It can be a goal and/or goals that have not been achieved that can be frustrating. It can be a misunderstanding that you are trying to get across but yet you still feel misunderstood. It can be an argument with someone you never thought could piss you off. It can be decisions that make you feel like you would have done things different or in a certain order that disappoint you and etc. Whatever the case may be, it’s okay to not be okay all the time!
This is where God and faith steps in…
Not being okay helps you to find your truth and your inner ability to overcome. It draws me even closer to God. Not because I’m going through but because I want to get through. First and foremost I want peace. I have to have peace to be able to grasp the concept of my destiny. I know that He is the only one that can fulfill me and the things that I want the way I want with them with no mistakes! When I’m going through things in life, minor or major I always say, “thank you Jesus” regardless, because I know that things can always be worse. When those not so okay days roll around, I have plenty to look at and know that things can always be worse. So I chose to trust God and believe in what I can’t see in my darkest hours. I am grateful. Yes indeed I am. So please! Do not sit around all day complaining to God about this and about that. You’ll only hurt yourself in the end. Never question Gods motivates, question yours and those around you but I can promise you that it is not God. Whatever situation you are in, there is a door! God will NEVER present anything to you in your life that does not have a door to enter or a door to exit. Meaning, there is a door to enter which holds greatness and there is a door to exit from things that are not so great.
Another point that I will like to make is, people. Do not allow other peoples perception and/or opinion of you and your life dictate the steps you will take to get what you want.
Pet peeve: “Girl you’re crazy. You have it all. Why you tripping? If I were you I would be chilling…blah blah blah.”
Please be quiet! Wanting more is not a lack of gratitude. In all actuality it’s a good idea to want more. What’s important is knowing why you want what you want. Is it because other people expect you to have it? Or, are you over compensating in one area to fill a void in another? Is this more for you? Or for other people?
Now, please don’t get it twisted I am very blessed, beyond many measures. Do not misconceive me wanting more for me not having enough.
The goals I’m trying to reach will never equal to what God has entrusted me with and has given to me thus far. I also look back, at the times before I had the things I have now and I am still thankful, if not more thankful. I am very positive that God has blocked many things from happening to me on numerous occasions that could have kept me from having the things I have now.
Me wanting more doesn’t make me ungrateful or blind to who and what is around me. Me wanting more means I don’t ever want to grow comfortable or complacent.
Everyday for me is a stepping stone to be better than what I was yesterday. No! I’m not striving for perfection because I’m not Jesus…but I am striving for greatness. “Greater is He that is in me.” I know God designed me for greatness. “God has created you with the raw material you need to reach your Destiny.” (Bishop T.D. Jakes.) See, God wants us to be great.
I test myself a lot of days because I do not make excuses for myself. Im sure that’s why I’m not okay at times because I know I need to do better! I have been out of the loop for awhile now but after much prayer and time I’m starting to get my groove back. (Not like Stella.) I’m starting to feel like the “old me.” Well lets say the “better me” a “new me.”
There is sooooo many things I want to finish that I’ve started. I want to do things that expand further than my dreams could ever dream. I want that feeling of my success to be a feeling far beyond my own understanding.
Characteristics that I want to install in me that can teach those around me. I don’t mind being uncomfortable to get where I need and want to be. I don’t mind being checked by reality to remind me of who I am and who I want to be. So today I tell myself, “April, it’s okay to not be okay all the time.”
I will no longer beat myself up for not being where I saw myself at this age and at this time. Because regardless of what, God has blessed me with the most phenomenal position, and that’s being a wife and a mother. I take so much pride in that and He trusted me to have it.
I say all this to you because I want you to know even though I’m happy and I’m blessed, at times I’m still not okay and it’s okay. It’s just a reminder for me to keep pushing. And the more uncomfortable I get, I know that only means I’m closer to my destiny.
You can reach your destiny too. I hope this blog touches anyone who feels like you’re not enough or that you’re not doing enough. Put one foot in front of the other and start your journey. Trust God in all you do and I promise it won’t be in vain.
See, you may think I just wrote this blog to just encourage you but I needed you to be the reason why I just encouraged myself.
I’m Just Saying….
Be Blessed.
I needed that?