I SAID WHAT I SAID! OUT LOUD!

Hello! Can you hear me!? Am I loud enough for you yet?!

Ya know for awhile people would make me feel like I was to loud, to bold, to aggressive, and that made me egregious, extreme, it made me to much for you so I started to doubt myself. Yes, I am ashamed to say that I tried too be quiet, or not move my hands when I spoke. I thought maybe I would just keep my hands clasped in my lap, while drinking hot tea and  eating cucumber sandwiches. Or just maybe when I talked I’d keep my neck still.

Listen to me! And hear me loud and clear! This is me! All of me! (Hands in the air raised above my head.) I’m loud! I can barely whisper MMM…K! I’m aggressive when I speak! That doesn’t make me….whatever it is that you think I am, it makes me compassionate! I’m passionate about everything I do! Everything! So whatever I’m talking about wether it be a person, place, or thing, I talk with compassion! I talk a lot because I have a lot to say! I’m sorry you’re the mouse in the room trying to process your words because the cat got your tongue. Oops my bad! NOT! You’re seeking and yearning to say what you really want to say while really envying my lion roar! Maybe it isn’t me! It’s you! I know who I am, I mean I really know who I am, meanwhile back at the ranch you’ve created yourself like a character in a book. You pretend you say how you feel, but instead you use emojis, you beat around the bush, you insinuate, you find your words through a key board to cry out on social media when everybody hears you but the people and or person who you really want to listen to you don’t because they don’t know to…because STILL you haven’t said anything!  You insinuate your thoughts and emotions and think someone is suppose to what? Just get it!? Who gets paid to think?!….I’ll wait? You act like you speak with raft and conviction in your voice, when really your on mute and you resort to other people to say what you really want to say! You’re a coward! You almost succeeded in making me feel inferior to you with your uppity classy attitude, yeah your classy alright, you’re a class act! You’re weak! I am NOT perfect but I’m STRONG! Yes! It’s true,  be seen not heard but who will see you when you can’t see yourself?

I know how to carry myself as a lady but I’m also a grown woman who has her blue print laid out, while your still playing kindergarten  picking pieces to the puzzle somebody else has to  help you put together!

You think I’m tripping? Well guess what everything that I say, you want to say and you still bite your tongue. Some how I still have all the advice in the world though….huh?!(Smirk.)

You’re soooo intelligent right? That maybe true. But what you do lack is emotional intelligence because for the life of you, you can’t express it. But I’m loud though! Meanwhile you’re screaming for help on the inside because you have a voice but you can’t find it!

You say your fierce! But that’s what Beyoncé said! Very strong and intense….doesn’t sound familiar to me. You’ve mistaken my tenacious for your timid.

I’m sorry that…NO WAIT! I’m not sorry that you feel I’m to much for you because you’re not enough for yourself!

Its not my fault you’re the door mat and I’m the Welcome! 

I don’t need a crowd to cheer me on to stay true to who I am and I can defend myself and be bold and walk with my head held high in failure or defeat! While you need a swarm of people or an entourage to speak your words for you!

Hello, I’m April and I’m assertive! I’m confident and I have a forceful personality! Too much for you? Well, dang! That’s to bad! Maybe if you stop worrying about what people thought so much you could say what you really want to say with your apprehensive self.

So don’t you dare try and scrutinize me to be this loud bat lady….my advice to you is take notes! You may learn something from me! (Winks right eye.)

Long story short….closed mouths….don’t get fed!

I’m Just Saying…..