Match Box (Home Is Where He Sleeps)

…..Except this is Us, and this is Love. and this is where I’m Home. This is Us, and this is Love and this is where I Sleep. -Emeli Sande

I remember I once told Rob, years ago, way before I thought we would even be married. (Wow.) I said to him, I remember it just like yesterday, if I had to, I’d live in a box with you baby. Well, all-be-John-Brown (Whoever that is.) Look at us now. Hold up! Wait! I literally just burst out laughing! Anyways. Let me tell you, if you could see what I see, you’d laugh too. Rob is in the kitchen right now, fixing himself a bowl of butter pecan ice cream. (Mmm….yummy.) I’m in the living room, TV room, whatever you might want to call it. All I know is, if I lean forward, and reached out, I could touch him. The hallway is basically a cut in the alley, where cats and the homeless lay. (God bless their hearts.) The dining room table and the couch are side by side. And the front door, well, the front door is basically in the bedroom. If I spin around three times, I promise you, I…will…hit…something. Now, I’m not even going to lie to you, I complained at first. Not a whole lot. But complaining is complaining. I was like you have to be kidding me right, Rob?

Hold up! Wait, wait. Let me back up, juuuuust a little bit for ya. Okay, so we are now on the West Coast. ‘I’m going, going, back, back to Cali, Cali.’ I’m soooo excited. I really am. I’m taking all the unfamiliar in. Jesus. I never knew what the heck a swap cooler was until I moved here. You live and ya learn. It looks just like a A.C. window unit. I don’t feel like going into what a swap cooler is, sorry, Google it.

So, yeah, so far everything has been good. I like it here. But if I would have known that we would be on a list, waiting for a house on base, I would have mentally prepared myself for the wait, literally. Yep, that’s right. We are on a waiting list for our house. I guess it’s worth the wait, because I love the houses on base! But that doesn’t change the fact that I have to live in a match box until we get one. So, like I said earlier, I would be lying if I said I didn’t complain, because I did. Then I had a Jesus moment. And I had to check my dog on self, because I know better. And when you know better, you do better. We’ll, you should anyways. (Mmm…maybe we should touch basis on that another day.)

I remember the days when I would pray and day dream for the things I have now. As I’ve said many times before. When I told my husband over seven or eight years ago that I would live in a box with him, I meant it. I mean, I meant it to the core of my being. And I realized once I ate my words, and my complaints were clear evidence that I had went back on everything I said. It made me feel some kind of way about myself. When you love some one, and respect them just as much, your words hold value. And I don’t want my husband to ever think that I say what I don’t mean.  Because you know what? I meant it then, and I mean it now. That’s why I asked God, ‘If I speak again, against the blessings that You have truly blessed me with, then make me bite my tongue to remind me of what I have and what I could not.’ Because the blessing isn’t this house that I refer to as a match box. And truth be told, this match box is a blessing. It is someone praying right now, for a place just like this, and it will be a true blessing to them. Heck it’s a blessing to me and my family. It’s a roof over our heads, shoot. But, what I’m saying is, *clears throat* the blessing isn’t the house, the blessing is the people in it. My husband and my daughter. Ya see, life is what YOU make it. I’ve said it time and time again. Trust me, I’m still working on that too. Even though I am waiting on the day that we get the call saying our home is ready, I will make this match box our home.

I came up in here with one of many of Robs T-shirts on, some old holy, moly tights on with a bucket and bleach. (Amongst other cleaning things.) I turned the hot water on and went to town baby. I mean, I cleaned and sprayed, sprayed and cleaned. We couldn’t stay in here if we wanted to that night. We would’ve been high as giraffe tail, you hear me? But the next day, I came in here and unpacked what isn’t in storage already and I put a cozy touch to it with all my love. Just so my baby could feel comfy cozy as she dances to her favorite movie Sing. I made it comfy cozy so when my man comes home to his ‘Sexy Love’ and ‘Baby Love’, he will feel right at home as he should, as he deserves. Because, life is what WE make it. Despite what we may feel isn’t perfect, if we change our perspective, and look at the bigger picture. And yes, it’s always a bigger picture, everything we see, everything we touch can be perfect. I remember all too well, just how it feels to be all alone. I would have given anything to have a place to call MY home.

I got my candles lit, (Duh) my plug-ins plugged in, the refrigerator is piled with food, and the snack corner is lit city! We have Netflix, 86 the cable, but thank God for unlimited data! Thanks to yours truly. (Husbae.) We sleep in that full size bed together, Rob has to protect Naomi and me from each other, we both move way too much. And poor thing, he has to be up and ready for work in the morning, and he sleeps on the edge, literally. And if you’re wondering where Naomis bed, pack-n-play, or crib is, you tell me where is can go/fit. Oh how I miss my king size bed and mattress that feels like a plush cloud. The couch has a new couch cover, and my throw blankets are scattered about. I got new rugs for the bathroom, and living room. The hot water is definitely hot, and the microwave didn’t look like a plate of left over food when we got here. (Pet- Peeve) I took one of the chairs that belongs to the dining room table and made it a table beside the couch to store my books, lip balm, and laptop, And the other chair is covered by a sheet, it’s our new edition of Lazy-Boy, cause boy does it look lazy. There’s no Rats, Roaches or Bed Bugs. I’m thankful. I’m grateful. And God knows I’m BLESSED beyond my own understanding, and more than I deserve. I will live in a box with my family ANY DAY, before I ever choose to live in a mini mansion without them. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to check myself, when I need to be checked!

‘I’ve seen the fires of deep division. The hearts of stone and the cold ambition. But I have found my sacred mission.” – Brandy

I wonder if the neighbors can hear…..never mind.

I’m Just Saying…..

XoXo