I really need to, NO, I really want to become more committed to myself. More loyal to myself. More confident in myself. More determined for myself. So, each day I have an agenda that I will abide by, for myself.
1. Put that phone on disturb, heck, turn the dang thang off!
Okay, so let me go right ahead and have an honest moment. I am up in my phone way too much. I have done a lot better the last few months, I can give myself credit for that. I have gone weeks without social media, unless it is pertaining to RedLipstickandCammies. I mean, I will wake up, roll over, and instantly start scrolling through things on my phone, Instagram, Snapchat. I will go to bed, roll over and fall asleep, scrolling on my phone. Every time my phone goes off, I have to see at that very moment who it is, and what they’re talking about. Why? I mean, why? It makes no sense. So, what I am going to start doing is turning my phone off for two hours at a certain time of the day. I am not quite sure yet what time exactly it will be, but it will be a time! In that time, I can spend time with Naomi, with my husband, or with myself! I prefer for it to be a time when Rob is not at work, so he won’t be trying to get in contact with me and it’s in void. Also, it would be smart of me to turn my phone off when Rob is home, so that if someone is trying to get in contact with me from home, they also know Robs number. Ya know, my parents, brothers. Yeah, so, that is a priority I need to focus on. I spend more time up in everyone else’s business on social media some days, instead of tending to my own. And I don’t do it intentionally, it’s just like any given moment, I click on the Instagram icon, and boom, just like that, I’m scrolling. I am not proud of that, at all. I can tell you what nine celebrities have done first thing in the morning! And I haven’t done dilly, squat, yet! And in my eyes, that’s my priorities being all jacked up. Out of all the goals I am trying to achieve, and things I am striving towards to conquer I know I don’t need to be on social media as much as I am. So, therefore, I am cracking down on myself. Mm…K! #IAmDeterminedToDoBetta
2. Put you a glass of water, or bottle of water beside your bed at night, and drink it either the night before or in the morning.
Okay, so! We’ll lets see. I do this every single night of my life, but! Will it get drunk every single night of my life? No. So yeah, let me get my life together and also make this here a priority. I need to learn how to be more consistent with myself! Let me repeat: I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BE MORE CONSISTENT WITH MYSELF!! I will make a vow to do something, and after about a week, it’s a wrap. Now, I am a lover of water. So, drinking water isn’t the problem, consistency is the problem. So, let me go on ahead a put this bottle of water on my night stand right now. #H2O
Moving on…
3. Touch your planner before you touch your phone.
I legit screamed when I read this. Now, you know that ain’t nothing but some confirmation right there honey chile! #SayWhat
4. Think kind thoughts over yourself as you look in the mirror while washing your face and brushing your teeth in the morning.
This to me is so amazing, because it needs to be done, DAILY! I need to do it daily! It’s so easy to go to sleep with a chip on your shoulder and wake up with even a one. And if you mellow in it long enough, one chip can lead to another. That is why, as soon as your feet hit the floor, you should be speaking good things over yourself, over your day! Tell yourself you’re pretty! Tell yourself, “Today I will do something great, big are small, because I am not a taker I am a giver, and God made me amazing, and I will bless someone else today, because He blesses me!” Like I’ve said before, could you imagine how things would be in life, in your life, if we spoke more positive things, instead of negative things. #PositiveVibesOnly
5. Lower your grocery bill, there is plenty of protein in veggies too!
Alright! You know what? I’m doing this! I sure am. I am more than proud of myself for no longer eating pork or beef. JANUARY WILL BE ONE YEAR! Let me tell you, when you make your mind up about something, instead of making excuses, you will make it happen. Now! I ain’t saying I am about to stop eating meat, but I do what to pick three days out the week where I do not eat any meat at all. So, let’s just say it will be, NO MEAT MONDAY, WEDNSDAY I WON’T EAT MEAT, and FINALLY! I CAN EAT MEAT TOMORROW! Yep! Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I will not eat meat! #LetsGoMe!
6. Stop keeping clothes you don’t wear, or clothes you can’t fit!
Lord! Shut my mouth. I need to get on this like white on rice! Chile! Let me tell you. The only reason I just recently got rid of my clothes is because we moved. But you know what? I need to start looking through stuff once a year for my own benefits and for others. Me giving away clothes is me helping someone else out who may be in need, and helping myself out when it comes to getting ready to pack! So, yes! Please get on board with me! What do you say? #LetsDoIt
7. Don’t forget to take your vitamins!
Now, I need to jump on this band wagon for real. I ain’t lying. I take my vitamins maybe twice a week! If that, if I’m being honest! The last time I took vitamins consistently was when I was pregnant or breast feeding. So, you know what I’m fitting to do? When I drink that bottle of water in the morning, I fitting to take that my vitamin with it too. See! Now I’m killing two birds with one stone! #BaddaBoom
My current thoughts after writing all this…
Speaking for myself. It’s so easy for me, lately especially, to try and keep up with what everyone has going on. Referring to social media, like I spoke on earlier. That is why number one and three really hit home to me! I didn’t even realize I was so caught up with people, until one day I realized I started feeling some type of way about myself. In my opinion, social media will drive you to the comparison game, and then you start to question yourself. I mean, someone or even a few people will say that is untrue. And it can be, but I am sure if most people are honest with themselves, social media has affected them in some way, shape, form, or fashion. One reason I felt so discouraged about my blog, is because it wasn’t thriving the way I wanted it to when I first officially introduced it, and in all truth, it is still not where I desire it to be. But I enjoy blogging more now then when I first started it, because I’m doing it for me, FIRST, and then for everyone else! I would get on social media, see everyone (Not even people I know.) blogging, writing books, having businesses, doing this, doing that, and I would feel behind. I would feel like, what am I doing? Now, I’m like, what do I mean? What am I doing? I am a heck of a mom, FIRST AND FOREMOST and nothing in this world can top that, absolutely nothing! I have always hated my teeth. Not wanting to smile. Holding resentment towards my parents for not getting me braces when I was a child, covering my mouth when I laugh. And I still do a lot of times now. My teeth are my biggest flaw, and I am determined to get braces, sooner than later. But until I get them, I am learning to love me with this Crooked Smile. (Previous blog post.) It’s legit something I pray for! However, I was so focused and fixated on what everyone else has, and what everyone else looks like that I was stagnate in my own goals, and I felt ugly in my own skin. Everything on social media is perfect! And it’s so easy for someone to tell you not to get caught up in social media, but they’re also the very same people up there every day, using filters. But see, that’s the thing, social media shows you the outcome of things. The perfection of things, the filter of things. Think about it, no one posts the bad things that are happening in their lives. (I mean, some folks do, but you get what I am saying.) Just like when people say, “relationship goals’, I be like, nah, I’m good off that. For example, I LOVE ME SOME OBAMBA’S!!! LOVE THEM. I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT THEY ARE STILL MY PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY! THAT’S RIGHT!! But when people say, relationship goals, it’s like you don’t know what Michelle went through with Barrack, or what Barrack went through with Michelle. You get what I am saying. We see the outcome of peoples relationships, the good days of folks love. I sure don’t post when I want to go upside Robs head! You think they are going to tweet when they have a disagreement or flat out argument? When my closets friends say, ‘relationship goals’, it humbles me, and makes me realize even more that God is real. They saw the aches and pains of what it took to get where Rob and I are right now. I’ve had friends literally wipe my tears, ya know.
I’m being very honest with myself and you when I say that social media has affected my self-esteem, and to strive towards my goals at some point in my life. It really has.
Maaan! After I had Naomi, and my stomach poked out further than my butt, I felt like cramp, because I felt like I looked like crap! All because my snap back game wasn’t like this woman, or that woman. And these were women I saw on social media. Women I didn’t even know. I mean, what difference does it make if I knew them or not. I am not them, and they ain’t me! What the heck! Like, talk about ungrateful. I was blessed with a healthy, beautiful, baby doll. And all I was concerned about was, “I hope I can work out a little bit after my 6 weeks doctors’ appointment.” I had a baby for crying out loud! Shoot! I’m not like she, her, or them! This is my experience! Not theirs. I’m tired of feeling like I’m supposed to have this and that at a certain time or a certain age in my life. So, what! If I am 28 with an Associate’s degree! I will get the Bachelors degree I desire when God see’s fit for me to have it. When He knows I can handle having it! When I am supposed to have it. I will get a Master’s Degree because I truly want it, not because I am ‘supposed to have it, or because everyone else does. Ya know, God laughs at our plans! So, what! If half of the people who said they would support my blog, don’t. I did this for me, not for them! So, what! If I don’t have a million-people reading my thoughts, and praising RedLipstickandCammies! You know why? Because the same ways I know how to be happy and proud of other people, I am going to start being happy and proud of myself!!! I started something from the bottom, writing in notebooks and now my name is on Google. I have my very own website! My ideas, my own words. So, what! If my teeth look like a wide tooth comb! I have a lot of things to smile about! I am happily married to an amazing man. Who treats me like a Queen! He loves me, he’s loyal to me, and he respects me. He not only gives me everything that I need, but everything that I want! Emotionally, mentally, finically, physically, and spiritually!! My daughter, she is beautiful, intelligent, happy, and healthy!
So, yeah, when I smile I may have a gap that’s from California to Virginia, but that doesn’t make me ugly because a person says, people say, I am supposed to have straight teeth.
What someone else has going on, has nothing to do with me. I’ve only made it this far in life by being a leader, not a follower, so I need to reevaluate some things with myself. I am feeling a lot better these days! And it’s because I am being honest with myself. I will no longer allow the devil to keep me tug tied, questioning who I am! Thanks to my best friend, my Patna, my Husband. He put a lot of things in perspective for me. AND THANK GOD FOR JESUS!
I’ve been really big lately on writing down things I want to start doing! Things I need to start doing! Things I am going to start doing! And I wanted to share these things with you as well.
I pray you’re honest with your inner embarrassments, so that you can deal with them too. #GodBless
‘God is within her, she cannot fail. Psalm 46:5’
I’m Just Saying…