The Color Purple

Twelve weeks and five days is the day that I thought I was having a miscarriage! It was a Thursday, Thursday March 5th, 2015. At the time Rob and I were sharing his vehicle. My car got left behind in Virginia when I moved, my parents brought my car up to Ohio when the weather broke and the sun finally came out.

On March 5th, 2015 it was an early Thursday morning Rob had to speak at a high school so we had to head out a little earlier than usually. So like every morning I headed to the garage before Rob even though he beat me to the car like every other morning. (Mornings were super hard for me, chi let me tell you.) We got to his job, kissed and said “see you later” and then I headed back to the house. I felt perfectly fine.

I remember being in the kitchen at the stove fixing myself some scrambled egg s, I remember debating whether or not I should add cheese or not. I wasn’t in any pain at all (Good sign.) Actually I felt good, physically and emotionally! I was excited; I had just seen my sweet pea a few days ago, matter of fact that Tuesday just two days ago, March 3rd. It was my first doctor’s appointment, my first time seeing Naomi, the funny thing is I thought I was like six or maybe seven weeks, to my surprise I was twelve weeks and three days pregnant. I was so proud that day, and rob for those who know him and see him with Naomi now you already know he was on cloud 9, already claiming Naomi was a boy. (Hahahaha)

I had Pandora playing; Smile by Kirk Franklin was on, I be jamming ya’ll. I aint lying! I thought I was the lead singer in the choir on this one.

I was standing in the front of the stove; I had just put a little shredded cheese in the bowl with the eggs. I didn’t turn the stove on yet, thank God! All of a sudden I felt some wetness between my legs, and I looked down. I saw dark purple blood running down my right thigh. I dropped the bowl on the floor. Eggs were everywhere. I remember just looking at the eggs on the floor and the blood running down my legs. It was like I was in shock or something; I probably just froze for about ten seconds.

I grabbed my belly and asked Naomi, “What is wrong baby.” (At the time I didn’t know Naomi was Naomi I didn’t know if I was having a girl or boy.) At that point I just started screaming and crying! I just kept yelling “NO GOD! PLLEASE NOT THIS! PLEASE!” Being that I have a little experience in the medical field I knew that it was a good sign that I wasn’t in any pain, but where was all this blood coming from and why!? I was pacing the entire house, back and forth from room to room! I picked up my cell phone to call 911, I could not think of my address for the life of me. I had been in Ohio since December what was wrong with me? I need to get a grip! I called my doctor’s office and the automatic message said, “If this is an emergency hang up and call 911!” I put on some sweat pants and my long red coat, it came to my knees, I didn’t even have a bra on and I shot out the door!

I got in the car and called Rob! No answer! I called my mom she was working at the time as well. No answer! I called my Dad he picked up on about the third ring and I was crying and screaming in the phone so loud my daddy couldn’t even understand what I was saying. My dad kept asking me where I was bleeding from….looking back that was a funny moment, only looking back! Dad where do you think I’m bleeding from?? My nose!!! (Haaha) Poor thing my dad was so worried. I could hear it in his voice! I was in the car just driving, not knowing exactly where I was going. I was trying to find a hospital. I know some of you will judge me and probably wonder why I didn’t just stay home and call 911. IF YOU ARE SOMEONE WHO HASN’T EXPERINCED THIS THAN DON’T SPEAK ON WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. You don’t know what you will do until you are in a situation where you are scared to death and you don’t know what to do! And if this has happened to you, well I’m not you!

I remember my daddy said in his most concerned voice, “baby please calm down and be careful everything will be alright.”

I remember seeing a hospital I thought a few times while being out an about. Well come to find out it was an Urgent Care (biggest urgent care I’ve ever seen.) and this was urgent! I made it inside in a rage of fear and flooded with tears. Three women were standing in the window, eyes big as fifty cent pieces looking at the sight of me. I was a complete mess down, bust down.

The Urgent Care couldn’t do anything for me, I was devastated they wheeled me to the back in a wheelchair and one of the nurses asked me did I want a cup of water. They were so concerned it was written all over their face, I just think they felt helpless being they couldn’t help me. They kept asking me was I in pain. I said, “No.” They just kept saying. “That’s and good sign baby, that’s a good sign.”

Next thing I know two fire men walked in the room. I panicked I asked one of the fire men did I set the house on fire. He replied, “I hope not.” They called 911 and the ambulance came and got me. It was awkward because it was all men on the ambulance (the firefighters.) and the only man I wanted was my husband. They were really sweet though and they kept me calm until I got to the hospital. They did the basic protocol, blood pressure etc. while telling stories of their wives latest drama. Looking back it was cute.

I arrived and was admitted into the emergency room still bleeding. I was scared, I promise you I was trying to be a trooper but I was so worried, and alone. It was a bad feeling, not a good feeling at all. I just kept asking please check on my baby, I don’t care about me I need my baby to be alright. A nurse (She was nice) said, “You have to be good for your baby to be good, we are going to take care of the both of you.”

I changed into my gown; afterwards they rolled me out of my room into the ultra sound room. A doctor and a nurse were in there. They placed me on the bed and gave me the rundown of what they were about to do. They stuck a camera in me so they could see Naomi and to also see where I was bleeding from. Once they realized that she was perfectly fine they turned the screen to me and I just saw her moving all around in there. I finally took my first breathe I felt like! I felt sooo much better seeing her, seeing her moving and knowing she was just fine.

They rolled me back to my room and I just waited until the doctor came back to let me know what was going on, why was this happening, and what caused it to happen. I did feel a little better because I knew Naomi was okay but I didn’t know if it was only for the moment. Like would this cause issues later in my pregnancy. How worried should I be?

I was so sad because I was all alone. I really didn’t know anyone at the time. I had just moved. I couldn’t even call anyone because my phone had no service at all. Soooo frustrating!

Finally! The doctor came in and explained to me what the issue was and why I was bleeding. I was bleeding between my placenta and my uterus it was a slight tear and that’s why I was bleeding. Now I will not explain to you how that happened. I will let you come to your own conclusions about that diagnose.

I finally got in contact with Rob!! Jut the sound of his voice made me feel better. I just wanted him to hold me while I cried though honestly. I was worried, so worried. I just prayed. My daddy had got in contact with my mommy, everyone was so worried. Once I told everyone that Naomi was perfectly fine and I was oaky everyone took a breather of relief, but I still was bleeding and the doctor said that it wasn’t anything they could do, the bleeding would stop on its own. If I had any pain or clotting than go back to the emergency room. I was put on bed rest. The doctor didn’t want me to do anything but get up and go to the bathroom.

The bleeding didn’t stop completely until about three weeks later. I was sooo relieved. I went back for a checkup and the doctor said everything looked just fine. Glory to God!!

March 5, 2015 I thought I was having a miscarriage, the first time in my life that I was truly scared. Anyone who has ever experienced anything in the category of carrying your child and losing it, my heart sincerely, sincerely goes out to you. I am truly sorry for your lose. May God be with you in your time of sadness. I genuinely pray this prayer for you and your family.


I love you sweet pea with my whole being, my heart and my soul.