I Pray



Well, well, well. What do you know. It is exactly 12:41 a.m. right now, and I just woke up about thirty minutes ago. Now, what in the up all night is going on here! Geesh! I tell ya Chile. I’m fitting to be up, up. (Teehee.) Ugh. I feel good though. Rejuvenated, ya know. I was tired Chile. It was a pretty busy day yesterday. (I was about to say today, but technically it was yesterday.) I remember my husbae walking in the bedroom with a icecream sandwich. I looked at him half silly and dozed off within 10 seconds. Chile, it was about 8 o’clock when I passed out.  We tucked Naomi in. We said our prayers and Chile! I walked in my bedroom, saw my bed, and I fell face forward on it. It’s been zzzz’s ever since.

I got on social media for a bit after dinna and was sad by the news of P. Diddys exgirlfriend & mother of his children, Kim Porter passes away yesterday. I read in the вℓσgѕ that she was found dead in her home. No one knows the cause of death. Either way, that’s neither here nor there when you think about the pain that her children must be going through. Sigh. I couldn’t imagine. I meanI COULD NOT IMAGINE. My heart aches for her family and friends. I’m not going to pretend that she was someone I knew, because I didn’t. I didn’t even follow her on social media. I saw her through other people I follow and like. The things everyone said about her. She is loved. I keep reading how everyone keeps saying the one same thing, “She was a beautiful person inside and out.” I just want to cry for her kids. I’m talking real tears. Jesus.

I am thankful to Jesus that I haven’t endured that kind of pain. One of the worst pains in life was watching my husband mourn his mom when she passed. Ma. I even look at him sometimes now

He’s 31, and his mom is not here. I COULD NOT IMAGINE! Oh Jesus, I could not imagine.

When they say count yo blessing! You better count yo blessings. All of them. Even the tiniest ones. It is always someone praying for the things you have right now. I have learned some things from death. Seeing people you love in that type of pain. 2018 has been a struggle. I ain’t even going to lie. The year is still not over yet. I just thank God. One of my dear friends, we met last year. Her husband and her are absolutely one of a kind. We all bonded over the Thanksgiving holiday. People who becamefamily over night. And then I got that phone call….

I just….

Jesus please, show up and show out for all the people who have loved and lost. Comfort those who grieve. Cradle them Father God as I know already know You will Jesus. 

People are worried about the wrong things. (Me too sometimes.) I am honestly proud to say that I am better with my gratefulness. I used to be a whole fool too. Always wanting more, not always looking at all the blessings I already have because of the blessing I want.

I’m happy. Some days I wake up so happy just because. Just because I’m here. The people I love are here. The people I love are healthy and here. Jesus. I think You for love and life. I thank You for health and happiness.  (I say this multiple times a day.)

Let me tell you something. My soul shifted when I saw tears coming down my husbands face. He just set in complete silence.  My soul ached for my soulmate.

I just pray.