Sometimes I Just Gotta Talk to Myself


Ugh. Let me just be honest. I am a complete mess down bust down. Well, maybe not a complete, but I’m dang sure partial.


I’m not even going to say the devil is busy. Of course we know his simple self is up to something, as always. However, this is different. I’ve been praying for certain things in certain areas of my life. And Chile, God is working one on me! Every day is a fight. That’s why you should stay ready. So you don’t have to get ready. Thank you Jesus it isn’t anything detrimental happening. I always keep in mind that things could be worse. So, woosah. Chile. I be having to talk to myself! I have to talk to myself as if I’m someone else coming to me with the same problem. What would I tell them?! The truth! So, I do the same with myself! I tell myself the blunt truth. Sometimes we don’t want to be honest about our feelings. Our thoughts. Chile. I be embarrassed I feel like. You feel me? I be whipping myself back into shape. Who has time to be moping around? Not I! Those days of calling people up on the phone who are already moping around having their own pity party is ova. I cut that years ago. But just recently, well, I’ll say a little over just recently did I truly understand the things that are right in my life. Even when I’m going through Chile.

Now check this out. My I.D. just got up and left the building! It just, vanished. I am clueless to what happened to it. No. Like forreal. I can’t find it. It’s like what? Week three now?! For those who don’t know. Not having a I.D. on base is like trying to drive a car without wheels, literally. AND PLEASE! Don’t be that person that asks, “Do you know what you did with it?” “Where did you last have it?” Ummm. Listen to what you’re asking me. If I knew what I did with it, it wouldn’t be lost. Right? I’m Just Saying

We have searched high and low. Still, ain’t found the I.D. in the first. Even Naomi pulled out her flash light. Rob done made so many faces while looking for it. Err. I know I won’t find it until I past this test though. I already know. Some will understand & comprehend exactly what I’m sayibg. Others, well not so much. Just know I’ve been asking God for something and He is not making it easy for me. Then the devil is tripping or whateva because my Bible has been opened more than I’m sure he likes. Whateva. I mean, when is the devil known not to raise hell!

I have made three attempts to get me a new I.D. Today my husband even took me on his lunch break, to Deers to get me back right. ?BAM! Non in void! Chile. I could have cried. (Shoot. I wanted too.)  Right there in the dang office. I was so, so blown. I still don’t have a I.D. We left the place and came straight home. I have not talked about it since. (Well, until now.) I didn’t come home and complain eitha. I didn’t whine, not nothing. I just said, “Thank you Jesus anyway .” I put Naomi down for a nap and then laid across my bed. Mentally exhausted. I was sooo frustrated. I ain’t lying. I wanted to drop kick a wall or something. It wasn’t even 1 o’clock yet and already I felt like my day was just upside down. And it’s Monday at that! What a way to start off the week. (I started this blog Monday night. It may be Friday before you read it though. Haha.) Ummjust being honest. Before I knew it, I was trying to have a mental pity party. I had to get up!! Clean something, fold something, read something, something! A jacked up day. Doesn’t mean a jacked up life. Okay! I need for you to understand that. 

I remember when I used to ride around, looking for pleasure in music and sceneries. Yeah. Trust me. I know things can be worse.

So with that I try not to trip over nothingness. I’ve been praying for God to take that away by the way. Being overwhelmed over nothingness. So yeah, that’s that. Let’s move on. Cause I ain’t fitting to linger on this here I.D. no mo! Next time you see me. I’m going to have a new identification. *Two snaps and a twist.*


Truth moment. I’m not big at all into politics. All jokes aside I pray to God for the craziness in this here world. And yes, I trust Him. That’s how I get down in my life. The only POTUS and FLOTUS I’ve ever followed behind (And still do.) of course is the Obamas!!! However I do educate myself on what is going on so I will be educated on my voting, etc. I’m just proud to be a black woman who can use her voice. And I’m gonna use it too! Oh, how we have come a long way in that department.

Now, I haven’t set down and watched the news since my husband has been a Marine. So what, since 2009. Yep. That doesn’t make me ignorant to what’s happening in the world. Trust me. But I know what to and what not to feed my spirit. And the news for me! Ain’t it! One of my past time friends once said to me, “Girl you need to watch the news.” ME: TUH! What I wanted to tell her (All jokes aside. But I won’t trying to hurt her feelings at the time.) was, “And you need to get a whole new man! Cause while you and yours are sitting watching the news, mines is fighting the war you worried about happening in ya shabby tail living room. Paaaalease!

Any-who. What’s next?….

So I’ve been getting up everyday watching  “The Potters Touch.” Ya know, T.D. Jakes. He preaches for a goodt, and I do mean a goodt thirty minutes. Usually I watch two episodes. Thirty minutes just ain’t enough for me. I would usually only do this on Sunday mornings. But Chile, one day a week ain’t cutting it right now. It has been so fulfilling too. It keeps me from waivering in my faith. It keeps my eyes on the prize type of thing I guess you can say. Starting out my mornings with that after reading my Daily Devotions is a need more than a want

So listen. I just took my braids out. I washed and conditioned the heck out of my hair too. It was so dirty. Nawl. Mybhair was filthy.

Chile. I’m so over trying to find someone to do my hair. I’m already unsatisfied before I even find someone. So what is when the point.  It’s just too much. I move way too much to be trying to find someone to do my hair every time I turn around. Most of the time I braid my hair. It’s easy for me, affordable, and I be cute. I’ve even been asked do I do hair. I’ve been watching a few YouTube channels on silk pressing natural hair. I think my first time came out pret-ty good. I was actually shocked Chile. Every little thing counts. Hence, the ‘chase method.’ I quickly learned about. I’m really into getting my natural hair how I want it. I’ve neglected my hair with sew ins and wigs for so many years now. I’m over it. Don’t get me wrong. If I could get me a bomb sew in right now, at the very moment. I would! Haha. I want to train my hair to be how it was when I first met my husband. Waaaaaay before, and when I say, waaaaay before I eva thought Rob would be my husband. I mean that. Woo Chile. I’m taking it, what thaws say? Back, back? I’m taking it back, back! That’s a serious hair goal though. I’m going to see what I’m looking like in a good six months. You ain’t gone be able to tell me nothing. Hopefully in four months, shoot. My hair is already healthy and thick. (Thank God finally to the healthy party.) I’m more of a straight hair natural girl. I rather do a silk press than two strand twist. I really would like to master a bun. I eventually want a real ponytail. Not just the pony. If ya know what I mean. Haha. Trust me. I know all about that. When I was pregnant my hair was flawless. For one, I had just moved to Cleveland. So my old stylist still had her prints on it. (I miss her!)Then too, I’m sure my hair was healthy because like I said, I was pregnant. After I had Naomi, every thing went! Even my edges. So three years later. I’m happy Chile. I’m out the woods! Now I just need to find some pavement! I reckon I’ll start making y’all some videos and posting pictures on my social media. IG, Twitter, SnapChat. One of those accounts. Most likely it will be IG, Pinterest, and Twitter. So yeah. That’s that.

Ummm…what else? Before I wrap this thang up.

I’ll just leave you with this

The test that you’re going through is designed to hurt you. If it doesn’t hurt you, it doesn’t help you. 

I’m Just Saying