Crooked Smile

Hey! Hey! Hey!

So, listen. I’ve been on this, this woman empowerment kick lately, and I am absolutely loving it. I took some quiet time to and for myself. Ya know, a lot of thinking, praying, meditating, and reading. I’ve been doing it all. I feel revived, motivated, ready. I really have some dope ideas and visions that I want to put together. I’m so excited to be getting back to the inner me. I’m doing all the things that make me feel whole, make me happy. (Outside of my loved ones, you get what I am saying.)
I love music. I absolutely love it! I can literally listen to music all day. For any situation and/or circumstance. I want to get back to playing my flute and piccolo. I want to write music, and also teach Naomi. So far from what I see, she loves music too. I knew she would. She’s been listening to music since she was in the womb.

It feels so amazing to be getting back to me. I love it ya’ll!

It took me at longer than what I thought it would to get back right after Naomi. Not just physically, but mentally, and emotionally too. I just, I just felt like I couldn’t get right. I wouldn’t change it for the world though. I adore being a mother. And I want more babies too. I just wholeheartedly understand now that I shouldn’t be ashamed of anything. The weight gain that came with it. (Which I have lost. But I did NOT happen over night.) And I am back working out now still. I’m over the stretch marks, it’s whatever. I mean, what shame is it in being a mother? Being a mother, means everything, but it also means going through changes. Not all changes are fun, but you know, it is all worth it. All worth it.
So, there are many things I want to do, and I will. I don’t share everything with everyone, but I will say this, I also want to vlog. A blog that is tied to my blog. So that my followers and supporters can see me, and hear me. I would like for those that don’t know me to get to know me, ya know? I do feel like a vlog is a lot more personal. A vlog has always been an idea along with my blog, from the very beginning. Baby steps. (I have to tell myself that every day, multiple times a day.) Anyways, like I was saying, a vlog is something I’ve always wanted to do, and like I said, I will! *Speak* But there is something that you are not aware of. And honestly, I haven’t told a lot of people, well maybe just a few.

The honest reason in why I don’t have a vlog alongside my blog right now iissssss because I USE to be so self-conscious about my teeth. Yep. That’s right.
I got picked on when I was little, middle school, and high school. It wasn’t a constant thing, but I can hear the cruel comments that were made still, from girls and boys who let it be know that my teeth aren’t perfectly straight. That was like one of the major things that people could say about me, physically. I’ve been told many of times from many different people, “You’re so pretty.” You’re beautiful.” I’ve been told this from people I know, and from people I don’t know. Regardless, that doesn’t change the fact that my teeth are crooked.

Hey, some people have acne issues, blemishes, dark smarts, and some people have crooked teeth, stacked teeth, buck teeth, gapped teeth, whatever. The point I’m making is that I have been self-conscious about my teeth. I’m twenty-seven years old and I am just getting to a place where I am like, this is me, and what you see is what you get. And I am dog on proud of it.
In all truth, I have even had times where I would be disappointed with my parents secretly because they didn’t get braces put on my teeth at a younger age.  But ya know, that’s all water under the bridge now.

It wasn’t only grade school that I got ridiculed for having a crooked smile. So you know, that frustration just kind of grew up with me I guess you can say.

Silly me, I have had so much money. More money than my immature brain could handle. I paid bills, took care of business, (School.) and then the rest was on what I wanted. Which was traveling, clothes, shoes, makeup, amenities, and cars. I had two different, brand new cars within a two-year time span. My first car I purchased myself was a 2011 Chevorelt Cruze. The second is a 2012 350i BMW. (I currently still have that.) So ya see, that’s where my head was at, caught up in material things, name brands. (Silly.) Things that don’t so much matter to me now. Don’t get me wrong, I still like nice things, and I spoil myself from time to time, and the hubby spoils me a lot too. But now, I have my priorities straight. Long story short, I was just all over the place back then. So even though (I feel like I say so a lot, do I say so a lot?) I got teased and laughed at, which caused me to feel embarrassed for not having straight teeth, I still didn’t get braces, even with having the option finically.

My husband has asked me would I like to get braces now, and I do. But I told him no. And I’ll tell you why I told him no. The thought of taking from savings, and accumulating another bill makes my head hurt. Because that’s what it would be is another bill. Not to tell you all my business, but as an adult, lets be real here. I am currently in the process of building up my credit for future wants and needs. So, if I were to do anything with a lump sum of money it is going to be to pay up something, or to pay it off like I’ve been doing. So, amongst other things that I am working on, that is one of them. I want to build a house honey chile. The goal is to have some things lined up before the age of thirty. So no, I will not have braces right now. I want to go in a dentist office and receive everything I need and want and can pay in full for my braces. I rebuke payments in the name of Jesus.

So, what you see, is what you get, and I WILL NOT be embarrassed or ashamed about it. This is me. This is my flaw. I am perfectly flawed. Thank you Jesus! I am accepting myself I am thankful. I feel empowered, I feel brave, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I won’t be ashamed to laugh without making sure I will cover up my mouth first. I will take pictures and smile with gaps and all. I am happy and I want to express it with any self-pity of having crooked teeth. No more being self-conscious about me, because I am not what society says we women should be. (Perfect.) Come on ladies, we must do better, heck, men too. Be you! Do you! You get on social media and you be like, dang. Well let me speak for myself, I’m sorry. I get on social media, and I’m like dang. And this is no shade to the rich and wealthy, but if I had money like that, I would have “Hollywood” teeth. Don’t worry, God is going to get me right. (My bank account runneth over.)

And you know what?! It’s not even about money though. I am thankful for comfortability finically, we are blessed. But it’s about being happy with yourself. Because truth be told, if I had braces, I’m sure it would be something else I would find on me to fix. Image is a hard up keep. I know one thing though, I’m not going to be hard on myself anymore. I may have crooked, gaped teeth, but I keep them clean though, shoot.
I don’t want my daughter thinking she must be perfect. I don’t want her to think that she has to be this perfect young lady or woman. We as humans are not perfect. We are human. But it’s all about loving yourself regardless of the flaws. And truly meaning it. I have always been someone who pretty much had high self-esteem. Despite how many pretty women there are. I’ve never felt like I was ugly. Or she was better than me. I feel like I am April, and no one else is me, and I take great pride in that. But deep down my teeth have always been an issue, because even though I didn’t feel like I was ugly. I felt like my teeth were. Well, guess what?! NOT ANMYMORE! I’m stopping this crap. Like, something has to give, because I’m not going to keep living like this. AND I WON’T.
Listen. You may feel like your nose spreads across your face, just a little more than your liking. You better hold your head up high, and strut. Do you hear me? You make feel like you’re too big or too small. You better put one foot in front of the other, and flaunt your stuff like you mean it? Do you understand me? You may feel like you’re too tall. You better wear those heels. And you don’t have to strive to be a ball player, or a model. Be you! You hear me? And if you feel like you are too short, you better walk tall. Walk like people are looking up to you, instead of down at you.
When it comes to looks, and what we want for ourselves, we always want what we don’t have. Take comfort and pride that YOU are YOU. And nothing and no one can take that from you. You’re only ugly (I can’t stand that word.) if you say you’re! Pay the nay Sayers no mind. They are talking loud and saying nothing. Anyone that can sit around and point out every single flaw about you needs to get a hobby. That’s a reflection of them, not you.
So today, after you read this, I pray that you will see yourself different if you haven’t realized that you’re everything you’re supposed to be. You’re beautiful! Believe that. Despite what the flaw is! Try loving yourself and see what happens. I am learning.

It just feels so good to smile and not cover my mouth. I mean, my manicure stays fresh, but you won’t see me covering my mouth anymore. I am turning a new leaf in my life. I am so proud of my growth, and my coming out of my shame.
And let me just say this really quick, feel me on this…mmmk. I have never had an issue with romantic relationships. I have never had an issue making money and making “boss” moves (as they say) because of my smile. I have had so many opportunities that have come to me and opportunities I went looking for. I was only tripping on myself!!!! And for those who have a problem with this crooked smile, chalk the money up. Yeah, just like I thought. I’m Just Saying…

I am beautiful, inside (that’s what really matters.) and out.
I am smart and intelligent.
I have wisdom to know when and when not too.
I am assertive and I stand up for myself.
I have been broken and have grown from it graciously
I am a mother.
I am a wife.
I am me, April, a Queen.
I have so many things to be thankful for, I am blessed. So no, God didn’t grant me with a perfect smile, (not yet anyways.) but, you know what, I’m fitt’n to be smiling like I am at a Bernie Mac comedy show all the time. I’m proud of me, therefor I am proud of my teeth.
Thank you, Jesus, for FINALLY allowing too see myself the way you see me.
I feel so refreshed. So, rejuvenated!
I look good, I looked blessed. Shoot. My husband loves and adores the heck out of me, but what’s important is that I now, love and adore myself. Amen? Amen!

*Say Cheeeeese* This smile is selfie ready!

I’m Just Saying…