“Cause every time I close my eyes, I think of you.”
Ugh, I absolutely, positively, literally, cannot stand when he leaves me.
My husba
e is a United States Marine. I could have just said Marine, haha. So extra. Anyways. So yeah, you may have some idea of what his job is based of. Deployments, trainings, school, this, that, and the third. So, when he has to leave. I be like…
Chile! I love me some him. I love that man.
“It dont matter what the season is, I still love you, WITH ALL MY HEART. And I wanna be with you WHATEVER you’re.”
So, whether he is gone for 7 whole days or….Wayment! I ain’t talking about the Toni Braxton 7 whole nights now! (Haha!) Let me be clear. So yeah, wether it’s 7 days or 7 months, I miss him all the same. The first week always sucks for both Naomi and me. Naomi understands that her DaDa is gone for work, but she doesn’t get this whole count down thing. So, I think the time for her is a lot longer that what it is, maybe. I’m not sure. Either way, poor thing. Sometimes she would randomly ask me, “Momma. You miss DaDa?” Like I said, the first week is pretty rough, but nothing like the first three days. Oh my gosh! Chile, I be no good. I mean, it’s not like you have to peel me off the couch or anything. I just be missing him. Our daily little routines and what not. The first week I really don’t sleep much. Which is super aggy. I so wish the weekends would just come and go! While everyone else is dreading Monday, I’m looking for it with a flash light. I dread the weekends. Ya know, being that’s family time and extra bae time. We do just about everything together, so even grocery shopping is wack attack. Haha. By the end of the first week I’m just completely exhausted and sad. My sleep pattern be all the way jacked up too. (Oh! I said that already. Hahah. Sorry.) For the first two weeks honestly, coffee is my homie, lover, and friend. I haven’t had coffee in three weeks now though. I really prefer not to drink lots of coffee if any at all. Other than coffee, it’s very rare that I have caffeine. I’ve been on a hot tea kick a lot lately. Which is weird. Hot beverages were never really my thing. After I have Naomi, I drank a few different teas for breast milk enhancement. Which really worked btw. Maybe that’s what got me hooked? Lately I’ve been enjoying this hot water with lemon. Bomb!
Anyways. How did I get on that!? Keep me on track Chile. You know I’m drifty. I’ll drift off quick on a conversation.
“Whatever you want. It’s alright with meh. You got that whip appeal. Come on and work it on me. Better than love. Sweet as can be. Oou you got it. Oou you got. Oou you it…”
This go around, soccer and friends kept us plenty of company. Thank God! But when night falls around, it’s like, “Is it morning yet?” (Sighs and sucks teeth.) I would keep Naomi and me productive throughout the whole day. But then 6pm starts rolling around and I would get this empty feeling. I dread the hours between 6pm and 8pm. Especially with it getting dark so early. It makes the nights longer. When it’s 6 o’clock in the evening it feels like 9 o’clock at night. Say I’m lying! One time I tried to put Naomi to bed at 6:30. That lady looked at me like I had three breast.! Her pie face looked at me so confused and innocent. Chile, it wasn’t even 7 o’clock yet. (Haha.)
As some know, I’m not a big tv watcher. My tv isn’t even on now. Just some Baby Face and my keyboard. Anyways. So when him is gone I try and binge watch a few things I know he’s not interested in until him gets back. Although I’m not the biggest tv watcher. We do have our set weekly night shows and it’s always a movie(s) on the weekend.
You talking about counting sheep. Chile. Oh my goodness. My sleep be so poor when I’m alone. If I do sleep. I sleep for like an hour and then I wake up for an hour and repeat. The whole, ‘I sleep like a baby’ is a no go for me when he’s away. I count down the days, but not literally on calendar until he’s about two weeks out from coming home. It makes the counting less dreadful, ya know.
”You gave me someone to love. You gave me someone to love. And you gave me someone to love. Someone to love. And you gave me someone to love. SOME. ONE. TO. LOVE. Ooooooo yeah. Ooooo yeah…”
Side bar: When or if I ever have a wedding. My playlist is going to be lit. I want so many moods and vibes lyrically and instrumentally at the perfect moments. And I know for a fact Baby Face is going to be played on a few occasions. I love quite a few of his songs. But Jon B and Baby Face, Someone To Love is probably my favorite. (Heart smiles.) I can listen to music and create thoughts in my mind that I want to become reality. Sounds weird. Maybe even creepy to some. But….
Any–who. Wayment!!! Keith Sweat done came on Chile. All his songs remind me of my momma. That lady love her some Keith Sweat! Chile! “Make It Last Forever.” What ya know about it?!? He on the wedding playlist!! You know what! Maybe Rob and me should have a nice ole reception. Mmmm… I’m on to something. Now. What was I saying?
It’s funny because I really enjoy watching the ID channel right. My tv stays on the ID channel and GSN. I’m a serious Family Feud fan too, btw. Mostly, I lovewaking up to ESPN. That means Him Home. But Chile, when Rob is gone, I have to dwindle down on the ID channel. I be up stairs in here (Our bedroom.) with stuff up against the door. If my husband is reading this he is going to burst out laughing in mid read. Because he sees no lies here.
Naomi and me hold it down though. I always want Rob to feel secure in knowing they everyone and everything is alright at home. If it’s not a big deal, it doesn’t get brought up. Miscellaneous mess is a no go. Less stress for the win. As Miss Naomi would say, “It’s okay Momma. Dada fix it.” That lady thinks that man can fix everything. She legit put a few of her toys aside just so he could put batteries in them when he got home. Now you know. If I can eat, sleep, poop, shower and shave and still take care of her literally, they why does she think I can’t put batteries in her toys? Chile! I tell you. Kids. It’s so cute though. I love it. I wouldn’t want it to be any other way. A girl should think her DaDa can do everything.
I don’t do any major cooking either when it’s just the two of us. We’ll for one, my homegirls (Hey y’all.) always seem to feed us. They never leave us out when it comes to the meals. Not to mention they all can cook their (bleeps) off. Which makes it fun for Naomi. Dinna can get a little boring without DaDa. If it’s a night that I do cook dinna for Naomi and me. I’ll throw some chicken legs in the broiler, whip up a a salad real quick, and butter up some corn on the cob. #IssMeal. Naomi loves her a salad btw, just like ha Mama.
I miss Robs cuddles so much when he’s not here. Ugh. Sucky. But! I must say, Naomi has some pretty good cuddles. It amazes me how smart children are. Naomi understands what’s happening when her DaDa leaves. She can’t comprehend it in depth, but she knows. She thinks she’s taking care of me when Rob leaves. She moves right on in on Robs side of the bed. When he comes home, she says, “Come. Come. (Waving her hands demonstrating me to follow her.) Let’s go. I need help. (Collecting her Trolls pillow, blanket, and her crew.) I’m going back to my room.” I can’t lie, I do appreciate Naomi being close to me when Rob is not here. It makes me sleep better. When I do sleep, that is.
I’m so glad you’re home baby….
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